SHE lost custody completely, we don't have to let her see him, but the truth is he wants to know her, and she seems to want him too. Unfortunately she is really unstable. She has been on welfare for over a decade. She has 3 kids by three different men. Her oldest lives with her mother, her middle is my ss, and she lives with her youngest. She lost custody of the two elder because she left town with out telling DH or her mother, or anyone (landlord, daycare..) then ended up in the hospital with toxic shock syndrome, and was almost on her deathbed, long story short: her children ended up in foster care and grandma and DH finally came to hear of it, they were advised by a lawyer to go to the city she was in, go to a judge and ask for an emergency custody order in the short term, without her involvement b/c she was incapable of caring for them, not only was she in the hospital, but she was also on the road and homeless. The order was for 90 days at which time there was a permanent custody hearing, and she didn't even show up. She told me recently that her free gov't council actually told her not to bother, since she was still homeless and jobless.

Anyways, neither of us have any experience of legal matters, I don't know what is usually done. Last summer she took him for a whole month and we had her sign a visitation agreement. She made a huge deal about it too, as though we had penned it in order to skrew her or something, though it was as much to protect her rights as ours.

I am just wondering if/how we could find out about her, she lives so far away there is no way for us to know anything about who she is, what kind of life we would be sending him to.