Advice please
New mom on here, i need to vent and would like advice please. I am completely fed up with my SO's 16 yr old son, and its taking a toll on my relationship with my SO. It seems like there is constantly an issue. From the compulsive lies, to getting in trouble at school, Etc, etc. Last week he stole my car in the middle of the night, today he put my 7yr old in an old car trunk in 90+ degree weather because they were "playing hide and seek". Hes completely rude to my kids ages 9,7, and 4. Now don't get me wrong, i know when my kids can act up, but they have never done more than argue over a toy or video game. Im at a point now where i can not even be around him. Ive talked to my SO about what's going on and how I'm feeling but he is saying he doesn't know what to do, and ends up not doing anything about it at all. I dont want to be rude complaining about his son, but he really is a problem and im about ready to walk away from our relationship because of it.
Does your useless SO
Does your useless SO understand that what his son did to your child today could be construed as attempted murder? He stole your car - theft. Time to get the police involved because your waste-of-space SO isn't going to lift a finger, is he? So take matters into your own hands.Hasn't he ever disciplined his son? Ever?
You need to take control
You need to take control. While the general advice would be that your DH needs to discipline his kid, in this case SS could have killed your child. Since DH is not doing anything about it - you need to. Holy hell needs to rain down on both DH and SS in regards to locking your child in the trunk and for SS taking your car. If he had hurt or killed someone while driving your car - you could be legally liable. If DH won't step up, call the cops about the car.
Quit worrying about being rude and step up and protect your children and your property. Do not leave your kids unattended around SS.
Thank you
I appreciate your feedback
Does he live with you, or
Does he live with you, or just come for visits? He could have killed your child if he left him/her there and no one knew where he/she was - and I'm guessing it was on purpose.
I'd say that he doesn't come for visits anymore until your SO can "figure out what to do", and/or, you need to consider moving out (or kicking SO out) for the safety of your children. And next time he steals from you - call the police.
Your SO doesn't know what to
Your SO doesn't know what to do, so his solution is to do nothing? That's pathetic.
There is no shame in not knowing how to handle a difficult situation. There IS shame in not trying to figure it out. Doctors and nurses. School counselors. Therapists who work with teens. Child protective services. Social workers. Does he have access to an employee assistance program at work? if he attends church, a pastor is a good resource for community services. And that's just a start. I wouldn't know what to do either, but I did just come up with about 10 options in a couple of minutes.
His son is in trouble and needs help. And he stands by wringing his hands. This problem isn't going to solve itself.
YOU need to protect yourself and your kids, who deserve to experience a loving, safe childhood. They can't do that in the current situation. Make sure SS doesn't come back until he's in therapy, or move out yourself. If your weak husband won't do anything, you are all in jeopardy.
Everyone here has already
Everyone here has already said it. Your SO either puts his foot down and ends this crap NOW or you call the cops or you kick them out. Your call, but you need to make sure one of those three happens and if your SO puts his foot down and SS so much as looks at you wrong- they go. Keep your kids safe- that is your job as their mother!
Why are you entertaining this
Why are you entertaining this? Your SO is part of the problem here. Theft and attempted murder don't seem to be enough to get you motivated out of this train wreck, so I guess the question is what will?
I would keep the police up
I would keep the police up both DH's ass and his toxic failed family breeding experiment's ass.
Get an RO/PO and keep that kid the hell away from your home and family. If that pisses your DH off... then good riddance to them both.
smh
This is really bad. You need
This is really bad. You need to make some changes pronto.
Your kid should NEVER be in the trunk.
This.
This.
Having a bf is not worth one of your children dying.
What happens when his kid steals your car again and crashes it? Your insurance company may or may not provide coverage. They damn sure wouldn't if they knew he stole it more than once and YOU did nothing.
You are complaining your boyfriend isn't doing anything (he's not and should be) but what are YOU doing to keep yourself and your children safe.
I'm sorry if that feels harsh, but you need it. It's likely your bf has been gaslighting you by saying things like, "its not that bad", "you are over reacting", etc. and trying to normalize all of this. It is not normal. Keep yourself and your children safe.
It's time to sit SO down and
It's time to sit SO down and tell him he has 3 choices. 1. The next time SS does something he steps up and implements serious consequences. That you agree fits the crime. 2. He only sees SS outside of your home for a while. 3. He does nothing and the next time you call the cops and they can both leave.
Based on his choice, your decision should be easy because you will know if he values your relationship at all.