Skid(s) calling you Mom.

Forums:

My SS, 5 years old, had his bioMom pass away recently. She had minimal involvement with him, maybe saw him once or twice a month and random phone calls here and there.

Just yesterday SS asked if I would be his Mommy because he doesn't have one anymore. It was heartbreaking. I said I would be honored to be his mom. I have been his parent for a year now, with him every day, cook his meals, clean his clothes, shop for him, play with him, discipline him as a bio parent would. His Dad and I co-parent very well, we never have any real issues and Dad looks to me for advice and guidance at times.

I'm guessing that SS is maybe just needing to know that he has a Mom. Not sure what is going on in his little head really. It's strange to hear him call me Mom and Mommy as he has always called me by my first name.
I'm curious to know how many of you have your step-kids call them Mom or Dad?? Is that something that happens when you are with the 100%?

I think in situation where

I think in situation where they still have both parents you should prob leave mom and dad to bios
But in your situation you can prob allow it- speak with your partner about it.
But you sound like his mom in every other way
His little question broke my heart - why can't they all be that sweet???

I think you have special

I think you have special circumstances. I'm my SS4's primary caregiver between me, DH and BM but I would never allow him to call me "mom". I don't want him associating me anywhere near his own mother. She and I are not alike and neither are our standards for parenting. Now that I've had BS and he's learning his first words SS will tell him "crawl to momma" or "no sir biobaby, that's Momma's drink." When we are referencing his mother to SS4 we call her by her nickname that she goes by instead of "mom." If he accidentally calls me mom he corrects himself. It's usually only on Mondays after seeing her that he gets mixed up. When he asks why BioBaby doesn't call me by my nickname he uses for me I tell him BS came out of my belly so he calls me mom, you came out of Dragon's belly so you call her mom. That's just how it goes. He seems content with that answer.

My DD's father passed away

My DD's father passed away when she was 5, and she calls DH "dad".

I am my Skid's StepFather.

I am my Skid's StepFather. The operative element of that title is ... FATHER. The prefix if the word is irrelevent IMHO. I have been my SS-23's dad since shortly after his mom and I started dating when he was 15mos old and married the week before he turned 2yo.

You are your son's Mom. Go with it.

I did... at least on the Dad side of the equation.

My son asked me to adopt him last year. He was 22. We made that happen. His BioDad has been in the picture his whole life though in a hovering around the edges way.

Jasper, I found your post

Jasper,

I found your post really interesting. I have started the process of disengaging from the step daughters. They have always called me "Mom" since DH and I got married, this was not at my request either. I think it was easy for them because of my five kids setting that precedence for them. They have a mother who is very much in their lives.

I don't want them calling me Mom, but I also don't want to hurt their feelings. I also have five children of my own, so how will they look at me if I tell the steps that I don't want them to call me "mom"

I'm totally in agreeance with you; it feels like the steps just want someone to do for them all of the cool things that their bio mom won't do for them and I'm done with it. My husband dumped all the negative crap on me from the beginning while he remained the disney dad. I'm so done with this. I sat all the family down on Tuesday and told them that I wasn't doing things for the steps anymore.

Did I say that I feel completely done....

Thank you all. DH and I have

Thank you all.

DH and I have talked about it and he wants me to be his son's Mom as BM was never really in the picture much and when she was there were usually problems (alcohol).

SS has been mostly calling me mom the past few days and just this morning wrote a little note to me with 'Mom' on it. It was very touching. We are going to let SS take the lead with whatever he is comfortable with.
I'm getting used to hearing him call me by a different name and am starting to get warm fuzzy feelings and smile. I do love the little stinker a lot and care about him more than I'll admit lol. Although, there are times that he can drive me nuts.. just like any kid I suppose.
We haven't talked about me adopting him legally yet. That conversation will come in time.

what is appropriate for step

what is appropriate for step kids to call me, my SO has two little girls babies really 1 and 3. We are having odd moments when I am refereed to as mom by outsiders and I want to correct said stranger however the girls just ignore it and are so young I'm sure its not even important to them. What is the best way to handle it? Do you just let the girls decide as to what they call you. I am all for being just my name its really okay with me. I don't have a great relationship with BM so I don't want to cause anymore tension. She hates me because I exist.

You are here

Skid(s) calling you Mom.