Not happy when "step"kids are around need advice
First off I'm in my early 20s. Me & my boyfriend aren't married but he has 3 kids & I have one child. My child is 4 and his three are 3,7 and 11. I got pregnant by him the first month of being together. We def didn't mean to. So now we really had no choose but to move in together. He lived with his mom and I lived with my parents. Im due in November so are whole relationship I've been pregnant. At first I was okay with his kids because maybe because I was head over hills for there dad. Then me and there dad stopped getting along because we don't agree on nothing long story short I started to get bitter towards him and his kids. He gets his kids every other weekend sometimes during the week. It's not a very organized schedule. I struggle with anxiety & depression on top of being pregnant. When they are here I feel overwhelmed and not happy. They wake up every morning early and me and my child can still sleep but the 3 and 7 year old wake up hyper running in and out of the house. I wake up really easy so I hear the side door open atleast 10 times. They make a mess and through trash on the ground outside in front of the house and in the back yard. They barly listen to me. And long story short they just annoy me. The 11 year old and the 7 year old fight and hit each other sometimes and don't stop when I say stop. My child is more chill and can watch movies they have to always be doing something. I watched them on my own for the first time all day and I thought I was gonna go crazy. They act up more without there dad around. I'm trying to help my boyfriend out more cuz he already thinks I'm not good with kids which maybe I'm not but Ive only been use to one child not 3 wild ones that aren't even mine. Me watching them made me really realize I don't want to watch them again on my own. But he's the one making the money and paying bills because I'm pregnant and gonna wait till after I have the baby to get a job. I dread when the weekend comes hes suppose to have the kids. I really don't know what i was getting into. I need come advice. I was thinking of moving out but I don't have a job right now. All I know is I do nag a lot but I'm not happy with him and I know he's not with me so I really have a hard time liking his kids!
You need to get out of this
You need to get out of this relationship.
If you're already unhappy it's going to get worse and it doesn't sound like you ever were happy to start with.
Get a job and get out on your own. It will be better for you and your children in the long run.
Walk away from this
Walk away from this relationship. None of those kids(yours or his) deserve the turmoil that is headed their way.
Listen to DontFeedTheTrolls
Listen to DontFeedTheTrolls and Disneyfan. They are telling you good advice here. You are not going to be happy.
Ughhhh Being a step parent is
Ughhhh Being a step parent is not always easy.
What about the baby?
IF you decide to move out---are you leaving the baby with him? You just cant take a hike and leave with his child.
You both have been living under the same roof, planning and preparing for this child. He is equal to you to this sweet unborn baby.
In your defense Miss, your boyfriend is responsible for the care of HIS bio kids when they are with him, NOT you.
You are well within your rights to let him know "hey I love you BUT I am not here to be their mom, or their nanny. you must make sitting arrangements IF and when you are not here. Take them to your moms' maybe they want to visit with their Grandkids.....It's one thing to run to the store but all day ..nope that is not what I am going to do".
It is also ok to say, In an emergency--I will pitch in. Emergency is not hanging with your buddies.
Also tell him HE is going to pick up after his own kids.
Remember if you decide to end this relationship HE will have equal rights to his child as you do. So, when the baby is with him, you wont have eyes on either.
You have a lot to think about. What of your parents say?
Best wishes.
It may be hard for her to
It may be hard for her to make that argument when he is supporting(or helping to support if the father pays CS)her child.
It will take some pretty big balls to say/imply that I won't watch your kids, but I'm perfectly fine with you providing for mine.
So explain to me why you had
So explain to me why you had to move in together because you are pregnant. Since when is this the norm? I would have more respect for someone who decides to remain with their parents and see if the relationship works out rather than moving in on a wish and a prayer. And please, consider how this affects your child. You cannot drag your children from one relationship to the next just because you get pregnant.
Also I suspect his mother did most of the work with his kids. And now it is up to you whether you want to or not.
You didn't have to move in
You didn't have to move in with him just because you are pregnant. One month in, you barely knew each other, but moved your kid in with him and his 3 kids?
Did you have a job before you got pregnant?