This is a really special event. It's not like it happens once a month. I say keep SD with you guys and give her special SD time so she doesn't feel like she's an unwanted third wheel being dumped off on relatives.

Sounds like BM is relying on family. SD's family. Her father.

The child is in your home 50/50, unless BM has a scheduled birth (induced, C-section), odds are even the child will be already at your house. It is the most sensible place for the child to be and to keep her stable routine.

Is there a child support award to BM for SD?

IF yes, ask her to hand over the money since the child is NOT in her care.

She would hand over money to her friends, babysitter or parents....right?

The father is not a babysitter.

BM is making the same request many SMs here ask their husband's to make when they are about to have a child.

If a bio parent is in the hospital the FIRST person to take care of the child should be the other parent unless there are some extreme circumstances like a parent being deployed overseas.

I gave birth to my second child alone- one time women gave birth without their husbands being there, this was because it was considered a woman's space but also because it was the father's duty to care for the kids when she was otherwise occupied. I gave birth alone because my ex had to care for my daughter- he had no car so had to take her on public transport to his parent's house (my parents lived far away).
When he arrived at the hospital his son was an hour old and he burst into tears when he saw him.
This baby has a father- if BM wants him to be at the birth then she has to make sure the child is cared for, otherwise he will miss it.

DH caring for his own child in these circumstances is not unreasonable.

Honestly I can't picture a point where this wpuld even be a question in our home.

BM is unable to care for the child for logical reasons. The child being with her father is the best option.

Doesn't matter how much you hate BM. Your DH would really refuse to keep his own child during this situation? It's not like she's dropping the kid off to go party.

Then again SO here would love for BM to drop off the planet so he's always have his kids. Don't know what the circumstances are for you but think if it were opposite and you were having the child. Where would you want your other biological child to be?

I think DH should care for his child at this time. Hospital stays these days are so short for child birth and I am sure your DH would love to have the extra time to spend with his child. I wouldn't battle with him on this one.

It's not BM that needs DH. It's his daughter that needs him while her mother gives birth.

This isn't about boundaries or control. Unless we are talking about your need for control.

If you were having a baby, you would want space and time with just you, DH and the new baby. If SDs time fell with you on your due date it wouldn't be wrong of you to ask that BM keep her daughter so that DH can be with you.
Same thing for BM.

Yes, the dad should take his child. Mom can’t watch her. It’s the right thing to do for the child.

BM's breeding choices are not your problem nor are they your DH's. If you and DH want SD on those days then do it but only if it is what you want. If you have plans for those times that are not inclusive of having SD... then it is BM's problem to deal with whether she is spawning then or not. And vise versa if and when you and DH choose to have children.

IMHO of course.

If bm suckered some other poor sap into procreating with her, my response to this request would be "get bent".

If WE had a child, bm is the last person ss would go to if dh couldn't watch him.

How is this even a question? OF COURSE the child should be with her father when her mother goes into the hospital.

Jimminy Christmas

Dh is the father he should have SD when BM is not available.... that's how it is.

Yes BM wants some alone time with her new baby and boyfriend to bond, nothing wrong with it, but keep in mind, when you get pregnant and you go into labor, then BM keeps SD, and this is usually not allowed...

When I arrived home from my C Section BM left SD with me... DH had to work and she did not pick up the kid... So anything might happen. Do whatever you feel like. Take some days off if your SD stays with u...