harassment and Autism diagnosis
BM has lost it. She's not getting her way and constantly emailing DH about everything under the sun. She emails him several times a week with huge emails full of questions, insults, false statements, If he doesn't get back to her right away she has started to text and say "I emailed you, please respond" So he thinks it's urgent and it's the same stupid crap as always. She asks the same question over and over. We threatened with contempt last week because she keeps signing the kids up for things even when he disagrees (she is over scheduling them like crazy!!) the judge said "dad take the kids to sports but with the understanding that mom, you stop over scheduling them. She only heard the judge say "take them" and continued to over schedule stating they are not overscheduled even though SS is in 3 sports teams at a time and they are overlapping every night. He did not agree to this but she dismissed him and signed him up and takes him anyway.
She won't stop asking unnecessary questions . She emailed and said "we have right of first refusal, what is your plan for the weekend" because one SS has an out of town all weekend tournament and the other has one game at home. DH said he has it covered and she emails "your plan is to leave youngest SS all by himself while you take oldest SS to his game and cause them stress?" (I would be with youngest SS but she says he's alone when they are with me. Really really odd) Like does he have to answer this to show obviously he's not just going to leave SS! Or she will say "I'm sure you are overwhelmed with being a parent" and "I have confidence you can communicate better" because he doesn't answer her emails within an hour. She started making these comments because DH was diagnosed with autism last month so now she's talking to him like he can't handle taking care of the kids and talking to him like he's stupid. It's SICK! She's literally sick in the head.
This seems like harassment to me. What can we do? She's out.of.control! I mean she just will not stop. We are waiting for attorneys to get back so what should we ask them to do?
Wow
Wow, what a crazy bat! I dont know the answers to your questions, but I sincerely agree, she is WAY over the top. It sounds like she doesn't have anything else going on in her life so she is revving up motherhood. Does she work? She seriously needs a hot, new boyfriend.
That over-scheduling, what is her problem? Cant she read the schedules? Smh.
She doesn't care. If things
She doesn't care. If things overlap she will say "SS gets to choose, it's no big deal" DH feels that's teaching them they do not have to honor their commitments. She ignores him. If DH says no to something she will say "I spoke to SS and he said he's fine just going on my time since you won't take him in yours" she tried to make it seem like he just doesn't feel like taking them in his time. It's sick. She keeps doing this no matter how many times he says "that's not the issue. The issue is that they should show up for their commitments and be a team player" she ignores that and says "I will respect that you just don't want to take him on your time"
it's literally crazy making. He has said literally hundreds of times why he doesn't want them overscheduled and she just keeps saying "you don't want to take them on your time" I have no idea what is wrong with her.
She's obsessed with being the top mother in the universe. It's really weird. She's very competitive and has to be better then everyone else as if people care about her motherhood. Lol
Has he never thought of
Has he never thought of playing another way? All responses are to be delivered in a kind, almost pitying, voice.
"he's fine just going on my time since you won't take him in yours"
"I'm so glad that he's giving you something to do."
"I will respect that you just don't want to take him on your time"
"I'm sure he's happy you have so much free time."
Well they have joint legal
Well they have joint legal custody. She's making these decisions without him snd is in contempt right now for like 20 charges. Lol. So, yeah he could but he has to make sure he makes it clear that he doesn't agree with what she's doing
Ignore 90% of that. Answer
Ignore 90% of that. Answer only what needs to be answered. Don't address things over and over. She's reacting to him setting boundaries and it will get worse before it gets better. Ignore ignore ignore. And save all of them for court. If needed, have his attorney send her attorney an email saying she is harassing him with multiple daily emails and to ask her to stop.
How does she know he was diagnosed with autism?
Okay that's what I'm
Okay that's what I'm wondering. Why does he have to answer this shit over and over? It's crazy.
She knows because we are 100% sure his son has it and we want to get him tested so out attorneys write to hers telling them if his diagnosis and asked her to agree to have their son tested. She won't answer. But, they would get all of this info through discovery anyway so there was no reason to hide it. Plus, if she uses this as a way to abuse him she's going to look really really bad! You do NOT ask this to someone with a disability. She looks so bad.
He doesn't have to answer it
He doesn't have to answer it over and over: "We've already discussed the issue of the extra sports, I will not be responding to any more questions about that."
If it's a long email full of nothing he has to respond to, ignore. If there is a question in there that he has to respond to - such as,when are you picking them up or something - then respond to ONLY that.
If she sends a text saying she sent an email, say, "I will read it within 24 hours" then ignore any more texts.
Also notice - she doesn't respond to things either. So don't worry so much about him not responding. Also - don't threaten her with court, that will ramp her up. Don't you have a court date coming up anyway?
Get OFW ORDERED.
Get OFW ORDERED.
Get "Urgent Communication Guidelines" ordered. Including response time and WHAT is an urgent communication.. all other communications .. "best efforts will be made to respond within 36 hours".
How does she know about his
How does she know about his autism diagnosis? did it come up in the discovery process or something?
just a thought
make up a chart of his activities, one that is lightly colorcoded and shows the over laps. do this for each and every sports season for no reason other than to be able to produce it in court if she accuses him of not taking said child to activities.
if it was ordered that they use a specific service to communicate, stop responding to anything else other than one last reminder. "As the court ordered we should be communicating using x,y,z. I plan to only use that from now on, please do the same."
We do this on OFW. It's very
We do this on OFW. It's very clear. He has sometimes 3 activities overlapping.
OFW is not ordered but they agreed to use it then she retracted stated she will only use it for reimbursement.
You do realize FRF works both ways...right
what does old BM do there when kid A has something and kid B has something at the same time? DH can request that he gets kid whatever while BM can't be there. Beaver was NOTORIOUS for the FRF as was the VI until they realize it works against them as well. Also if your FRF reads like most..its not immedite..its like 4 hours or something. So...no need for BM to be involved. Also if kid A and B over lap and old BM makes a stink....then kid A goes to half their thing and kid be goes to half their thing. It says DH has to take them...doesn't say anything about them having to stay the WHOLE time. I would communicate the coaches that due to scheduling conflicts..kid will be there from this time to this time. BTDT with our kids..we had 4 kids all in sports...at times there was no way we could be at 4 games all at once..
On to the crazy time with emails. A months...lol yea it won't slow down for awhile especially if you DH continues to feed that beast. Any attention is better than no attention. Took Beaver YEARS before she finally figured out DH wasn't going to answer her bullshit. The more she emails..the more you know its working. When people consistently stomp on boundries they will just keep trying to see if they can continue. Why not..its worked before. Heck my own ex tries this every once in awhile....after 15 YEARS and my kids are now adults. I just laugh......and ignore.
Yep, BM here still tries
Yep, BM here still tries every now and then. She gets *crickets*.
Autism has a strong genetic
Autism has a strong genetic element so it’s right to say something to family.
Many people with Autism have above average intelligence and make superb parents.
It’s a great idea to get legal advice but once you have got good advice take it, stick to it and never roll over like a pussycat or she will make your life hell forever she sounds nuts!
Time to cut off all comm with
Time to cut off all comm with BM except through OFW or some other court reviewed communication tool.
She can go bat shit crazy all she wants on OFW and.... DH can just have his attorney notify the court.
BTW... did you submit copies of all her emails, texts, etc.... the last time you nailed her for contempt?
If not... why not?