You absolutely cannot breastfeed another woman's child without her knowledge and consent.  Holy hell.

OMG I would hit the roof if someone else was breast feeding my child. Especially one that is a self-described party girl. Certain viruses and STIs can be transmitted via breastmilk - even though the risk is extremely low, it is not impossible to infect a child.  Certain infections are can be present on the skin around the nipple too and can be transmitted to the infant when latching. I would not want someone else - especially someone I dont know  - wet nursing my child. 

If this were me and  I found out I would contact a lawyer to see what criminal charges I could bring against you!

Stop this and tell the mother of the child what you are doing. How would you feel if someone did this to your child?
 

Why should the BM have to supply bottles, etc. for the time the kid is with dad? He just needs to find out what kind of bottles/formula the baby uses and then buy them. BEFORE the child comes over, obviously. 

This is a pretty easy problem to solve, so I don't find your/your DH's concerns to be genuine. I feel it's a good excuse for you to do something unconventional in order to play mother to his other child (it seems, with his support). Our breast milk is specifically designed for our own babies. I know wet nurses have been a thing, but most of us would never approve of our own babies being nursed by another woman, especially who is not a close friend or family member. 

Uh, yea...no, don't do this.

It's not hygienic, it's not safe, it's especially NOT ETHICAL. Any drug you're taking or medical condition you might have you're sharing with someone else's kid without its mother's permission. Wow.

Honestly, HONESTLY, under the circumstances of your triangular history, how would you feel if the girl who got the guy did this to your kid?

I'm not sure what you were thinking. I wonder if you realized this could get your husband's visitation yanked. I'm thinking maybe you did.

As a bio mom if my sons step mom were to breast feed my child I would put my foot in her a$$  that is not your baby! As many others have pointed out your breast milk is not universal for every baby out there. Its for your own child. Dad needs to get his crap together and figure out what bottles and formula his other kid needs and handle that business. 

You should get BM's consent before continueing, othewise issues could arise. 

Do not breast feed a child that is not your own. 

Holy crap. 

I’m as pro-breastfeeding as they come, but holy heck... I cannot get over the lack of consent here. I also cannot wrap my head around the fact that dad is totally okay with this.

Big pro-breastfeeding mommy too. WOW my jaw actually dropped when I read this. It presents a interesting question.

Is a bio father as equal OR less than equal to a mother when it comes to  decisions about how his bio child fed? 

I am sure this is not the first time this occured in the world.

First, I just want to say that you are an amazing woman and wife and mama.  I cannot believe all of the negative and jealous comments.  Or just comments more worried about this other woman's feelings than a child being nourished.  I hope you would give us an update on what you decided and how things went.  Hopefully you are still feeding that sweet baby of YOUR husbands.  I applaud your husband and think he made the right decision (obviously) in ultimately choosing such a loving and tender woman to have his babies and MARRY.  While he did put a baby in another woman (and you could have had EVERY RIGHT to be upset about that, bitter about that, request he not see that child etc), it sounds like your Husband was just spreading his seed and it sounds like you are responding like a wonderful woman.  Clearly you had the child of promise with your Husband as your son was born the spitting image of his father!  Congratulations mama!  And while you may have thought it was looking like the other woman was going to be "stepmom" to your sweet baby, God's hand moved everything and my how the tables have turned.  I am sure your Husband is a good man to be rewarded by God with such a good wife and wonderful babies!  I find it sad that no one felt compelled to extol your virtues as a wife, as a mother, as a stepmother and as a woman, but I do.  You are a Queen and your Husband recognized that, which is no doubt why he chose you as his wife.  Now, you accepted this baby to visit his father (YOUR HUSBAND) for extended periods of time.  That in and of itself is wonderful of you!  You did NOT have to do that!  But it sounds like this mother was struggling as she couldn't even successfully feed and nourish her baby and she was having supply and latch issues so took the easy way out and chose formula.  I also want to commend you for not making any negative comments or judgments towards this woman or her choices or her lack of ability to nourish her baby from her breast.  I however, like to call it like I see it.  It also shows what kind of a mother she is that she insisted on your Husband buying your own baby supplies and refused to supply anything.  So sad!  She couldn't even supply her baby with her own breast!  Sounds to me like a selfish woman who was hungry for your Husband's seed but refused to nourish the baby he put in her belly.  She might have wanted your MAN more than she wanted that baby and she might be resentful, so keep an eye on her (as I'm sure you will as you sound like a loving woman with beautiful maternal instincts).  How beautiful that when you heard this other woman's son "wailing" that you offered him your breast!  What a beautiful gift you have given to your Husband's child.  What a loving wife and wonderful mama you are.  I am not surprised that he took instantly (as children can sense things and he sensed your maternal instincts and motherly love) and you let him nurse from you till your heart's content.  I'm sure the bond you felt with your Husband's other baby in those sweet moments was indescribable.  If you Husband came home and got to see it I am sure the beauty of that sight overwhelemed him with love for you.  That man loves you more than life and will never leave you.  May he keep giving you babies and may your womb be blessed!  Your Husband decided that he wants you, his Wife, to nurse his other baby!  That said, you don't need to be sure how you feel about it because your Husband, who is your head and the leader of your family, decided for you!  What a wonderful man!  I'm sure he knew it might be a difficult decision for you or give you mixed feelings, etc. so he, as a MAN, decided what was best for his family!  That is how a real man behaves.  He didn't leave the decision up to you.  You have to love him for that and submit to you Husband.  It sounds like he knows what is best.  Also, the way you described feeding the baby sounded like you both really enjoyed it (if he took to it instantly and you let him feed till his heart's content).  I think if he didn't take or if it was uncomfortable for you or he was sick after it wouldn't even be a question, but your Husband probably either saw how beautiful and right it was, or after you described it to him, made the decision that was best for his son.  Yes I believe you should nurse (and hope you are still nursing him) and not tell bio mom.  She gave up her right to know when she left the responsbility of feeding on you and refused to provide any formula or baby supplies.  She also is giving your Husband "extended time" with an infant (possibly in her mind to strap you and stress you and even hurt your marriage), because what good woman gives up her infant for extended times with his married father (whose wife is also caring for her own infant)?  If it was court ordered, even better.  Does the court order specifically state that you need to report to her on the child's feedings?  If not, leave well enough alone.  I would not tell her as I believe she sounds lazy (refused to provide supplies) and not motherly and might act out of spite or file something with the courts to stop you from nourishing her baby or something.  Happy feeding and I hope you have a beautiful bond with that baby.  God Bless!

Are you out of your mind?  Would you want a woman breastfeeding your baby and not telling you?  You know very well that this is wrong on so many levels or you would not be asking the question.  Tell your husband to stop being a cheap assh*le and buy the supplies that his baby needs.  And keep your breasts to yourself!!!

Now this is a unique STalker situation. 

As a man and a pragmatist here are my thoughts.

First, this is just wierd. 

Second... dad's time with the Skid and if you are amenable then BM neither gets a say nor does she have to be told. For sure the Skid won't be telling her.

Third.... it's still wierd.

Most importantly, you and only you are the one who decides this and are in control.  That DH expressed an opinion at all on this much less asked you to continue doing it gives  him more balls than I would ever claim to have. 

If I were you, no way in hell would I be nursing anyone elses baby but my own.  But as a man... I am completely clueless and have no right to even express my opinion. But there it is.

Thanks for the very interesting post and good luck.

Take care of you.

smh

I am very pro-breastfeeding. My son has been breastfed for 14 months (today!) and we don't plan on stopping until 2 years old. I would absolutely wet-nurse for a friend in need if they asked, and I would and am currently looking into becoming a donor as I have tons of milk stored in my freezer. But I would never, ever, ever, EVER nurse a woman's baby without her ASKING me and giving her consent. I would never dream of it! That is SUCH a personal, intimate thing to do and I would feel absolutely, incredibly angry if someone breastfed my son without asking me. 

You need to

1. Tell this woman what you've done. 
2. Go get yourself tested and provide a full report on any STIs, diseases, etc. you may have passed onto her baby
3. Stay the hell away from this child going forward 

Visitation is for dad. If baby isn't breastfed (which is ISN'T because MOM isn't breastfeeding) than baby needs to get formula and a bottle. There are MANY bottles out there - baby will take one. And IMO, biological mom has the right to ask you never to be there for visitation again after this. 

Surely this is not a serious post? This is woah ‘hand that rocks the cradle’ creepy stuff. Breast feeding another woman’s baby who would presumably then not want formula when the birth mum takes the child home. You’re causing the mum a whole heap of pain and she won’t even know why. 

You’re sick for going along with your husband’s tight  ass filthy scheme and he is a sicko too. You’ve already breast fed her child and didn’t get her consent?!! If it was all above board, you would have spoken with her about it.

I’d be calling the cops on you pair of sickos.

severe ones and it felt everything upset him

there is an ethical reason why permission is sought first for another woman to breastfeed or donate milk. Its the ethical and respectful thing to do.

irrespective if bio mum appears useless, selfish etc or as some speculated being a petty selfish mum not concerned about her baby.

those here making allegations that the bio mum just can’t be bothered to breastfeed, i was a mum focussed on breastfeeding my newborn son, daily diarrhea explosive poos, severe eczema and allergic reactions and at times anaphlactic reactions. Had hubbys family come over sick and contagious spreading their germs and me and kids got sick, it messed up my supply being sick for 2 months straight.

eventually i went to formula. This bio mum had supply and latch issues, something that happens to many mums in non blended families but that doesn’t give others a right to trash talk the bio mum or say its perfectly ok for sm to sneakily be breastfeeding her child. 

Its very easy for kids to get nipple confusion and reject a bottle and now the dad and stepmum can be causing serious issues to the bio mum out of their own selfishness to not be honest and upfront. 

Some people just aren’t into milk donations and wet nursing, that doesn’t make them selfish. I myself had hubbies niece donate her milk to a sil struggling to increase supply with her son, but they mutually agreed and were happy about it. If i had been offered i would have declined mainly because i eat a clean nutritious diet and them not so much, everything is overly processed and i would much rather give formula if breastfeeding came to a halt.

op please stop breastfeeding this child until you ask the bio mum. You have no right to be doing this and neither can the dad dictate another woman breastfeed his kid without bio mums permission. This isn’t like a minor medical procedure requiring only 1 parents consent.