Youngest SD, telling DH she has new Dad, hes not her dad no more. WHAT!!

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Ok so I don't know what bullsht BM is pulling, but when I am giving youngest SD(4 1/2) a bath and she says... "We have new Daddy now,(DH) is not our Dad anymore". It pissed me off! I said "What??!!" and she repeated!! I corrected her and kinda got mad, telling her DH is her dad, and no one else IS! She said ok and I got her dressed... she came to kiss DH good night and said "good night Joe"... DH stopped in his tracks. "I'm DAD!"... she looked at him and goes.. "No, your Joe, we have a new Dad, your step Joe"... I intervined before he freaked out and told her to go to her room, repeating DH is your one and only DAD, not step anything, you call him DAD!" At this point, DH steps outside, obviously upset. I go and put youngest to bed and go outside to see DH. He is crying. I calm him down, make some excuses. Now I am sitting here not knowing what to do.... what do I say? How do we handle this?? What the hell is BM putting in her kid's heads!!!

This has happened before with

This has happened before with all 3 over the last 2 years! The girls arw more excited to get to see bm temp boyfriend then their own dad! She has switched boyfriends about 3 times in 2 years and everytime, this issue comes about. Last time, when we took them back to their mothers, they all 3 jumped out of our car and yelled Daddy to bm current boyfriend at the time... BM acted suprised and sorta scolded them, but it was obvious as hell, she put it in their heads! Now, next guy comes along and its more bull crap!

Our BM did the same thing!

Our BM did the same thing! This current man she is married to is the 3rd man, other than their father, that she has had the twins call, "dad." And now this marriage is on the rocks and they might be getting a divorce??? WTF?!?!

She hasn't been stupid or f*cked up enough to try to get them to call their father by their first name though. I think that would be the straw that broke the camels back though. What a stupid c*nt.

My Mother pulled the same crap as your BM too. I remember going to visit with my dad when I was younger, and I called him, "Rick the dick," because that's what my mom told me to call him.

Quasimodo (bm) did this with

Quasimodo (bm) did this with sd6 started when she was 4. Sd would come over and call dh by his first name and sf daddy,it really hurt dhs feeling extremely bad. We would just ignore her if she refered to him by his first name like when she said "Jake can I have something to drink" after a minute or two we would be like oh you mean your dad, you can ask your dad for something to drink. Things like that eventualy she just stopped calling him by first name, now its ddddaaaddddyyyyyy in that whining 6yo voice only sds can manage lol

You both know it is not the

You both know it is not the little girls fault, and I cannot imagine how much this must hurt her father, but I think I would ignore it, and when she calls him Joe or anything but dad, I would ignore her, only respond to dad. If you try not to make an issue of it, she won't either. Poor kid is only repeating what some fool has told her. Your DH needs to understand that at 4 she has no real concept of family, or blood ties. She is not rejecting him, just calling him another name in her eyes. If you make a fuss and she gets told off for it, it just means she is being harrassed at bm's and at dads, leads to confusion for the kid. Try to be strong and just as I said ignore it for the most part and only acknowledge what she wants when she refers to him as dad. So sorry, this must hurt like hell, but it's not her, remember that, to her they are just names.

Its so damaging for any

Its so damaging for any parent to tell this to their children, really confusing for the child too.

My own DH has effectively been *replaced* by a SF too. BM encouraged ss to call her husband "daddy", would scream on the phone to DH if he dared correct ss (who was about 4 at the time).

What's wrong with these women?!! Honestly who pulls this shit, WTF would THEY feel like if our DH's told their kids who call us Mammy?! :O

Our BM screwed my skid's head soooo effectively, that at even EIGHT he was confused who his *real* dad was!! :jawdrop: Saying to me one day, while DH was out of the room, "Daddy Stepdad is my real dad and Daddy DH is my pretend one...!"

I nearly fell over in horror. Good one BM, you stupid half breed heifer.

I put him right and the confused expression on his face was painful! Its little wonder the kids actually believe this crap when their BM's give more power and easy access over the children to their new sex toy partner's, than the father's!

I think its really important your sd is corrected every single time about this. At 4 she isnt really going to have a full idea what impact these words are creating, however I think it IS crucial just to calmly tell her that "When BM and DH were together and in love ( :sick: ), they made you together. While they arent together anymore, BM now lives with SF (insert name) and DH lives with me. They still love you very much though, but no one can replace your mommy now can they? Well I am your stepmother as I married Daddy (DH) and you wouldnt call me Mommy now would you? Nooo. Just as SF (Name) isnt your daddy. He didnt make you and put you in Mommy's tummy. Daddy did (DH). That will never change and daddy loves you LOADS. Lucky you that you get lots of people loving you!"

If she repeats anything on this level again then tell her "that hurts daddy's feelings hunny..." then repeat the above.

Its paramount that BM is NOT supported by you in this, and correcting sd is key in ensuring that she is educated on fact, not BM's twisted desires.

I would also be tempted, as DH, to tell BM what I thought. Once and once only. Then continue with the above.

It hurts though, as know DH was shocked when I told him what ss had thought. It broke his heart Still does.

Good luck

Ah, sounds like crazy

Ah, sounds like crazy too...loser once told me that...she didn't dare tell her dad. I quickly told her that she was INCORRECT. Idiot BMs...THEY disconnect their kids from their bio-dads and then complain and say it's the bio-dads.

God I would love to slap her

God I would love to slap her silly. In her hate filled mind she'll sacrafice her own childrens emotional stability to cause pain.

And it works - witness how he reacted. My ex actually had my eldest change his last name - not legally - just aka which he hangs on to even today in his 40's. Wait til he reads the will. Well that's another story.

I would have Dad contact his attorney and a strongly worded letter be sent. Some states are even recognizing this and a court order can be issued violation of which can cause criminal charges.

A good and experienced attorney is needed for this - one with a reputation for ragged and bloody kills.

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On top of it all... the

On top of it all... the middle child, who is not biologically DH's (found that out a few weeks ago via doing a paternity test. Go to my other posts if you want to know the whole story.) Anyways... Middle child is 5 and REALLY has a mouth about her NEW dad, calls DH Joe ect. We are waiting to hear back from our attorney about the paternity results because the LESS the middle child is here the better! Youngest repeats EVERYTHING she says and since middle SD is NOT biologically DH's, I am gonna be happy when she isn't around to con youngest into saying DH is not her real daddy when she is here. Sounds like the perfect time to break it to middle daughter huh? lol... No, we haven’t said a word about middle daughter not being DH's, till after we talk to our attorney, make sure we know what we can and cant do and then put it all into action!

It is normal for four year

It is normal for four year old kids to talk like this even if they have not been coached that way. They take a logical view that they can only have one dad and since they are usually very attached to their mom, whoever is with their mom must be their dad. It almost kind of makes sense if you think about it, and they can't be blamed for their black and white view of the world. Of course it's hurtful, but it will change with time as long as dad sees them frequently. Especially since the new boyfriend will probably be history before too long and dad is in it for life.

I feel sorry for the middle child who it looks like you are eager to "disown". It's not her fault who is or is not her biological dad.