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wub901's picture

Submitted by wub901 on Fri, 10/12/2012 - 7:16am

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Blended Family Issues

Well I have posted here before about my SD 13 who made our lives hell due to her Bio dad filling her head with his warped thoughts on life the latest thing is that apparently according to him a step parent has no right to attend a parents evening at his daughters school but its OK for me to go to work to pay for food a clothes for his children!!!

I have to have a vent on here before I end up getting 15 years for sticking a large object through this guys head!!

Now don,t get me wrong I have no problem with paying for these things as I knew that when I met my partner taking on her 3 kids was no biggie to me and it still isn't now.

We have been through the roller-coaster of SD13,s your not my dad shit and after reading step monster I found a great relief from know that I wasn't the only person to go through what so many on these forums are too!

But I do seem to feel awkward around SD13 as I never seem to know how she will react to certain situations although her behaviour has gotten better over the last two months I still feel uncomfortable around her!

So your thought's would be great.

just.his.wife's picture

Submitted by just.his.wife on Fri, 10/12/2012 - 7:30am

Thirteen year old girls are pita's. You will never change the child's blow hard father. So work on retraining the kid.

Some prefer the direct route:
"Your BM/BF does not make rules for our family."

Some prefer the silent route:
(ignore when child says something stupid the other parent said)

Some do middle of the road: Acknoledging the child spoke without acknowledging what they said
"Thats nice sweetie, now go clean your room/ do the dishes"

Others prefer brutal honesty
"No one cares what your BM/BF thinks."

Pick your road: and forge onward. With luck in about 5 years her hormones will start settling down and she might turn back into a likable human being again.

amber3902's picture

Submitted by amber3902 on Fri, 10/12/2012 - 7:57am

Your wife needs to correct SD. When she says "you're not my dad" Mom needs to tell her, "No, he is not your dad, but he pays the bills here and you will respect him the same as I expect you to respect your teacher or any other adult in your life."

And if your wife doesn't say it, then you tell SD yourself.

WTH- just because you're not a person's parent means you get no respect? I don't get it.

wub901's picture

Submitted by wub901 on Thu, 10/18/2012 - 8:16am

I agree but just this Monday when went for a drink and some pool and we took sd 13 and SS 10 now everything was OK to start with apart from sd 13 asking for some chips which GF told her no as she didnt eat all her dinner then me and GF went out for a smoke and GF told me that sd 13 was doing her head in asking for some chips and told me that sd 13 was ruining the whole evening when i just simply replied but that's what she does she ruins things.

Then we went back in and after a while GF gave in to her and gave her some chips to apparently reward her good behavior this wound me up like you would,nt believe but i tend not to say a nything in front of SD 13 naymore as she just kicks off with the your not my dad stuff or that we are talking about her behind her back!

On the tuesday we went dog training where she mentioned that her BD had got a tent ( but said he could,nt afford one for his eldest daughter,s 16th ) and they were going camping at the weekend to which i replied but you dont like camping then she just said but i do with my family!!

The fact to my GF tells her not to do things and that she just goes ahead and does them is driving me mad!!

Bosley3325's picture

Submitted by Bosley3325 on Sat, 10/20/2012 - 12:32pm

I have that same issue. My fiancé says things like "if you this then you spend the rest of the evening in your room" but "the rest of the evening" ends up to be 5 minutes. Or he says that he'll spank her if she talks like that again. Now I don't mind spanking. What does drive me crazy is that when she continues her attitude he doesn't spank her. I bring it up when we're alone and he says "what you want me to beat my daughter?" And I respond no if you don't want to spank her don't tell her that you will.

It's also a pet peeve of mine. And he's suprised when she doesn't take anything be says seriously. He vents when she does something he told her not to or doesn't do what he asked her to. I'm like if you followed through with what you said she would take you seriously.