Unreasonable ex wife
My partners ex wife is so unreasonable. She wants him to have contact blah blah and then shuts him down.
She hasn't been letting the kids stay since Christmas as she felt them travelling 2 hours to stay and then to home was disruptive to school and apparently their behaviour was horrible when they went home as the wanted to live with daddy. Plus she gets more csa once we finally went to them. His eldest daughter is away on camp this weekend, his youngest won't go with him unless he buys her toys and does big extravagant days out. I asked the ex wife as a surprise if I could pick the youngest up Friday after school with dp and we have her the weekend for Father's Day. I explained I would have her for a few hours the Sunday whilst
Dp was working (hence why he couldn't
Go on eldest camp) and we would then collect eldest from camp and have dinner out before taking home. Her answer was no as it disrupts school, he hasnt bought toys recently for the kids, he couldn't make one weekend as he was ill, he won't pay her extra maintenance, because he isn't taking them on holiday, because he's a good step dad to my son and our son together. Believe he lied last weekend he was due to go up and see them and didn't, because he can't rake holiday from work
To have them school holidays but he finishes at 1pm so I would have them mornings and he afternoons.
So this weekend trains are all Over the place and instead of two trains up there it would have been 3 trains and a bus, which taking our 10month old wouldn't be fun whilst I have to work. And there is no family that can have him aswell as my 3 year old my mum can't have both and my dad is on call at the fire station. So dp asked if instead of the Saturday we drove up the Friday picker her up from school, had dinner and visited family or Drove up after work Sunday, picked eldest up from camp and we all go out for dinner and visit his dad. Both days would mean we would have seen them for 5 hours which is same amount of time
If he went the Saturday. She has now had a massive rant at him again. Why can't she ever just be reasonable. She has got friends watching our facebooks and reporting back what we do with the boys etc as she has just had a go at us for booking tickets to the theatre for my eldest sons birthday and my birthday instead of a party. And because his mum came and stayed and visited us. She isn't making any of this easy.
Is there a CO?
Is there a CO?
There is no court order. He’s
There is no court order. He’s concerned she will be even more difficult and the costs from it. He’s trying to get her to be reasonable but all he tries gets chucked back x
HCBM's do not have reasonable
HCBM's do not have reasonable in their vocabulary.
Court orders were made for
Court orders were made for unreasonable people. It doesn't mean they will necessarily follow a CO but it does give the NCP a legal leg to stand on. I do realize that it can cost some money, especially when a high conflict, non-agreeable person is involved.
Her answer was no as it disrupts school, he hasn't bought toys recently for the kids, he couldn't make one weekend as he was ill, he won't pay her extra maintenance, because he isn't taking them on holiday, because he's a good step dad to my son and our son together.
None of the above is a valid reason to deny him seeing his children. If there were a CO, she would be in contempt. Enough contempt charges, denying visitation, could cause her to lose custody.
Bribing a child to spend time with a parent is never a good precedent to set. I hope your partner does not give in to this.
It's a tough situation. My husband's ex was high conflict, as well. Taking her to court for contempt, when she didn't think that he would, helped a lot.
Your partner DOES have rights. He needs to know what those rights are and exercise them.
DH needs to get to court
DH needs to get to court immediately for a Custody/Visitation/Support CO. Even for the NCP the CO is the best tool for managing a blended family situation. It locks the CP into a controllable position and takes visitation completely out of the hands of the CP and the kids. If the kids are not delivered per the visitation order... the CP goes to court on a contempt motion and gets smacked around by a judge.
Kids visit, or the CP suffers. Pretty simple. A CO also gives the NCP the advantage of being able to refuse a visitation. The CP has to care for the kids regardless and cannot withhold the kids on the next visitation. Being able to refuse visitation at will is one of the primary powers that an NCP has.
Get the CO, keep a rolled up copy of it handy so BM can be smacked about the head and shoulders with it when she steps out of line. Learn it, live it, love it... and learn any state rules or supplemental county (Jurisdictional) rules so that you can maintain the advantage over the blended family opposition. If they are reasonable... be reasonable... if they aren't... bring the pain.
As for CS... I recommend that DH have direct payroll whithholding initiated. That takes any discussion of money with BM off of the table. She bitches, DH informs her that she needs to call the CSE office because they have HIS money that HE contributes for the support of HIS kids.
A CO is critical to the management of a blended family situation. If you don't have one. Get one.