Thanks to MIL I finally grew some balls and stood up for myself
As per one of my New Years resolutions I have finally stood up for my own feelings and I think I have gotten through to my DH!!!!!!!! 
As I previously posted my MIL told me the other day she would NEVER put up with BM's 10x's a day phone calls and neither would any other woman. She told me she would talk to my DH and today she finally did and he seemed to have FINALLY agreed and listened! I took that opportunity to later reaffirm what MIL said to DH, and to also bring up the idea of FINALLY having a set schedule instead of constant daily phone calls and asking "where are you, what are you doing? What time are you picking up SD blah blah blah?" from BM.
DH confided in me that he is lost because this is his first real long term relationship after breaking up with BM and so he is still learning how to make it all work as a blended family and he doesnt know what is normal or not.
I feel like this is a breakthrough and I really hope he follows through on this so BIG things can change for us this year!
That is great! I LOVE it when
That is great!
I LOVE it when you have a supportive in-law system!! I moved to England from the US and my DH's family is amazing! I seriously wouldn't get through any of the BS with my SD's if it wasn't for them! I purposely don't bring up stuff with the sd's and only mention a thing or two when they bring it up (I don't want her to think I'm a bitch constantly complaining about the kids! I think I would be upset if I thought some jerk was constantly complaining about my grand kids...Not a grandparent by the way!). I usually try to down play it and make it a more of a "I just don't know what to do! What would you do?" and MIL LOVES that I ask for her advice (which is normally really good advice anyways!). I'm not trying to be manipulative, just considerate of her feelings and her relationship with her grandkids, the results though is that she is really seeing the situation for what it is and has been really supportive of us.
It's awesome when a shitty situation can bring family together...Even if it is without the skids!
Thank you! Yes MIL did love
Thank you! Yes MIL did love that I asked for advice and will TOTALLY continue this route as nothing else has ever worked. At the very least he agreed with me and brought things up to BM. If my DH can just wake up, stand up for himself more then I think it could work.
Of course, BM responded by calling him a faggot, and when I asked him about that he said oh, thats just the way she talks, its a culture thing, you dont understand, she was just joking.. so we'll see how it goes...
Now you know the problem is
Now you know the problem is not your husband but his ignorance and you can go about teaching him. I.e. he's open to guidance.
I think something that is
I think something that is valuable is not to answer the phone. If a landline, unplug it, if a cell, turn it off or put it on silent. We had that same issue and stopped it by letting every roll over to voicemail. If it was an emergency my husband would return the call. If she didn't leave a message, he ignored it.