:O
In need of some advice! My BF's son doesn't live with us, he's across the country. I've helped him find ways to nurture his relationship with his son and even made it possible for us to visit (including flying to pick the kid up, taking the time off of work to watch him while he is here for weeks and so on). For the most part I've had a good relationship with the SS with exception for the last trip where he came to stay with us instead of us going to visit him and he was rude and physically violent towards me. During this time I found out that I was pregnant. My problem isn't so much with the SS but with the BF's behaviors and attitudes.
He is plagued with guilt about his son being so far and much like the rest of the family caters to the child's whims. I don't want him to put the child aside now that we have a new one - that would be ridiculous - I just want him to understand that we have a family here now and before he goes telling the child he will be there for Xmas I'd like him to consider my feelings, plans and availability to travel.
Just as much as it isn't fair to forget child #1 it's also not fair to put child #2 on the back burner because he has guilt of the past. My fear is that he is going to miss out on what is happening right here and now and repeat the past once again.
How do I help my BF find the balance - or can I????
BTW - I do everything I can to include his son, in events, on holidays and with the new baby...