Step Son issues with touching
I have a 12 year old stepson who has been caught on line tooking at gay pornography. He is at the age where is is confused or curious about is sexuality. I also have a 2 1/2 year old biological daughter who he always petting and rubbing and constantly in her face. I have been telling him for the past year to stay out of her face, don't rub her, don't pet her hair like she is one of the dogs. I am very concerned about his behavior towards her and I do not know what to do. If I leave the room for one minute it seems like he takes the opportunity to touch her then he jumps when I re-enter the room. This appears to be very sneaky behavior to me and gives me even great rise for concern that he knows he is not being appropriate. I have talked to my husband on numerous occassions about it and I have gotten to the point where I do not want this boy in my home and can't stand even looking at him. I don't know what to do. My husband thinks I am going overboard and his 12 years old is just "over affectionate". Please help. I need a second opinion and I don't know what to do. I understand my husband loves him because he is his son but he also see things differently than I do. I don't know what else to do!
I know what I wouldn't do..
I wouldn't ever leave the two of them alone! Your husband has to get on board here...you both need to sit him down and talk about appropriate behavior between him and his sister. Is the 2 1/2 year old little girl, your husband's daughter?
Yes, she is my husband's
Yes, she is my husband's daughter. I've been telling him for over a year and just about a month and hald ago I finally told him I am at the point where I do not want his son in the house. Finally, after I spoke those words he's taking me serious. I'm upset that I had to even say that to him but I had no choice. Again, today I told him because my stepson was in the room with my daughter and she started yelling "No". I ran in and asked him what he was doing. He said he was telling her not to pick her nose. I asked her and she said he was touching her head/hair. I feel overwhelmed and I told me husband I will make sure I'm never home with my daughter when his son is here in our house. Thanks for any advise.
This is a tricky situation
Of course my reaction would be to protect the young child, but at this point you do not KNOW if there is something to be concerned about. At the same time, you do not want to wait until something happens to decide this is a serious issue. That's a tough situation!
I do not leave my two young ones (4 year old and 1 year old girls) alone with their 14-year-old sister (my SD). But that is because she is emotionally disconnected from them and will not take even the slightest initiative to keep them out of trouble. In fact, she often puts them in dangerous situations (leaving 10 month old alone on couch so that she falls off on her head, leaving gate to stairs open and watching 1 year old climb up without trying to stop or keep her from falling, etc.). It is a pain to have to be so vigilant in your own house, but I think it is worth the peace of mind in knowing you are protecting the child who can't protect herself. And my SD lives with us full time, so imagine me carting two little kids from room to room, wherever I go.
Protect your daughter, but don't alienate SS. He could just be an over-affectionate child (I have seen a few). And encourage your daughter to tell you if ANYONE ever does anything to her that makes her feel uncomfortable. I ask my 4 year old that all the time, so she knows she can tell me anything.