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SS smoking pot and DH ignores

plainjane1's picture

Submitted by plainjane1 on Thu, 01/07/2016 - 3:48am

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Blended Family Issues

Frustrating that my SS smoke weed and my DH constantly makes excuses for him, we had agreement that same rules for our teens, my DD was given an ultimatum and left as she wanted to stay at her nanas one night. But my DH decides to play double standard. My DD is gutted that she got the boot and he didn't although he Sis way worse than she would ever have done.

Starryeyed's picture

Submitted by Starryeyed on Thu, 01/07/2016 - 3:52am

So your daughter was kicked out but your dh allows ss to smoke weed in YOUR home? Why are YOU ignoring this behaviour? Time to sit your husband down and tell him what you will and will not tolerate in YOUR house. I do t know how you could sleep beside your husband knowing what is going on and your dh doing nothing about it.

plainjane1's picture

Submitted by plainjane1 on Thu, 01/07/2016 - 3:55am

Yep can't sleep, currently on sleeping pills, it's disgusting. My SS asks my DD to cover up for him, gloating that he smokes every night after we do to bed.

plainjane1's picture

Submitted by plainjane1 on Thu, 01/07/2016 - 3:56am

What makes matters worse is my DH says my daughter has a better place to go (nanas) and his son doesn't so he tells me I'm a cookoo bird, which apparently means I'm a witch step mother that wants to get rid of his children smh

plainjane1's picture

Submitted by plainjane1 on Thu, 01/07/2016 - 3:56am

What makes matters worse is my DH says my daughter has a better place to go (nanas) and his son doesn't so he tells me I'm a cookoo bird, which apparently means I'm a witch step mother that wants to get rid of his children smh

Starryeyed's picture

Submitted by Starryeyed on Thu, 01/07/2016 - 3:59am

Sorry to hear how much this is affecting you but honestly don't blame you especially when your own daughter had to leave (was this on your dhs insistence and what age is your dd?) What does dh say when you've spoken to him about this? What age is ss? There needs to be some repercussions for this behaviour. As we all know from this site dh sitting back and letting ss do what he wants and abuse your family home will do him no favours.

Starryeyed's picture

Submitted by Starryeyed on Thu, 01/07/2016 - 4:01am

Absolutely ridiculous. I get the whole wicked step mother thing too as if I wouldn't correct disgusting or bad behaviour from my own son but I would and I'm sure you wouldn't tolerate your dd doing the same in your home. Could you catch ss in the act? This is disgusting of your dh.

plainjane1's picture

Submitted by plainjane1 on Thu, 01/07/2016 - 4:02am

He gets intensely defensive when I inform him, I tread very lightly and tell
Him the facts, like "go look in his room Hun, don't even stoop it's clear as day" next thing he's irate at me for snooping and why the hell cant I pick a better time and reminds me that his son has achieved his piece be this year etc, and says I'm trying to get rid of him, yeah I pretty much get a barrelling, but I didn't do anything wrong ffs

Starryeyed's picture

Submitted by Starryeyed on Thu, 01/07/2016 - 4:07am

How long has this been going on for? I think it's time you stood up to your husband and lay it on the line. I know I couldn't live this way being so disrespected in my own home and especially by my own dh. Ss is only doing this because he can. I seriously don't know what's wrong with some kids in the world today, I hope my son never turns out to be like this, is sad to have so little empathy or respect for your parents and their home.

plainjane1's picture

Submitted by plainjane1 on Thu, 01/07/2016 - 4:07am

On Christmas Day he was getting high at home, I told my husband gently and he said "No he wasn't"

plainjane1's picture

Submitted by plainjane1 on Thu, 01/07/2016 - 4:08am

6 months he has been with us and I've tried to put some boundaries in place, he can go back to his mothers if he continues to disrespect us, it's not rocket science, simple

Starryeyed's picture

Submitted by Starryeyed on Thu, 01/07/2016 - 4:10am

Time not to be so gentle and I think most of the feedback you receive on this site will tell you the same. Why are you sitting back and tolerating this? I would grab my husbands hand and drag him to that bedroom and tell him you will not put up with this behaviour any longer and how can he possibly call him a good dad allowing this type of behaviour!! I would scream if I have to but Being gentle with him is obviously not working!! You have to live there too.

plainjane1's picture

Submitted by plainjane1 on Thu, 01/07/2016 - 4:13am

I've grabbed my husbands hand and showed him 14 roaches outside my SS room, he got grounded for 2 days whoopdie shit

Starryeyed's picture

Submitted by Starryeyed on Thu, 01/07/2016 - 4:51am

Completely agree with this. It makes me sick to think of my bio being mistreated in my own home and skid living the life of Riley without consequences in my home. It actually turns my stomach and would literally kill all my love for dh.

Rags's picture

Submitted by Rags on Thu, 01/07/2016 - 10:31am

Call 911 and report SS. Have him duck walked out of the house in hand cuffs. End of issue and end of double standard.

DH does not need to be the one to deal with this. Law enforcement should be the ones to deal with this and you should be the one to make the call.

IMHO of course. Good luck.