ok, I need help. 

I’m a 30 year old mother of 2 boys. I have been single for many years and have become quite accustomed to being on my own. So I understand that I may need to learn to bend a little on my ways and can be stubborn about that. 

Late last year, a man came waltzing in my life and has been an absolute dream. He is smart, funny, romantic, helpful around the house and with my two boys, the list goes on. 

He has 2 kids of his own that are both the same ages as mine. An older boy and a younger girl. They hit it off with my kids from day one. 

So...perfect, right?

eek. I’m not so sure. 

I need to start by saying, I don’t mind his kids. They are good kids. They’re just very different from kids I’m used to. My kids are very laid back, easy going, and have very good manners. His are hyper, always on the move (including inside, up and down stairs, jumping on couches, etc). He seems to join in when they are riled up, or just doesn’t seem to notice. I’ve learned to speak up and tell them, there’s no jumping on the couch at my house, please stop running up and down the stairs, etc. Which hasn’t done much because they don’t listen to me. Or they hear me and instead turn to ask him if they can keep doing x,y,z. And he is very hesistant to back me up. 

This is my house. He does not live here. I do not allow my children to behave like that. Nor do I allow any other kids (nieces and nephews mostly) to do so. 

We have been talking about him moving in and marriage. And this has me really stopping to think. 

He told me recently that he gets the feeling I don’t like his kids. And I honestly don’t know how to answer. Because I do like them. But not the way they can behave.  And now I feel like I have to Bite my tongue when they’re doing something I don’t like.  I don’t find it’s fair to my kids and I don’t want my kids thinking I will be tolerant of this. 

Am I wrong for thinking this way? Do I break it off with the man of my dreams because of this? I’m not sure what to do.