Figure out a way to stop sending your clothes home. I.e., wear the clothes they wear over on Tuesday on them when they go home on Thursday, wear the Thursday clothes when the go home Sunday and wear the wear the Friday clothes home on them on Tuesday. That is the only way to let her know that you will not provide clothing for both homes. i am assuming you pay cs too?

"God is great, beer is good, and people are crazy" and you can't change crazy!!

OMG NOTHING annoys me more than this! I can't remember the last time little guy came over in ANYTHING that fit him properly. He wears a size 3T and she's putting him in nassty, stained, ripped 18-24 month clothes! WTF?! I buy him clothes ALLLLLL the time, and super cute ones at that. All of a sudden we have one pair of pants and like 2 shirts, short sleeved in the middle of winter. So we tried to ask her about it but she dosent play nice so she starts yelling and screaming about it. And whaddya know? He comes over in some of the clothes that I bough him. Hmmmm....?? So anyway, i just dropped a pretty hefty ammount of money on BRAND NEW clothes, an entire wardrobe because everything is somehow gone. So I wrote his name in every single article, even socks, and in HUGE writing I wrote DADDYS HOUSE b/c she trys to blame it on daycare, but its so weird b/c every time we drop him off and pick him up hes in the same clothes that he was wearing in the morning.... **Sarcasm**

Dont share clothes. Keep the clothes you buy at your house
When the kids walk in change their clothes into yours and wash what they brought over. Then send them home in the same thing she sent them over in. That way you have all your clothes and you dont have to keep buying clothes because she doesnt bring them back.

I have that same problem everyday.
We now have 3 shirts and two pairs of pants because SO "forgets" everytime.

I have to say that when we had EOW visitation, this used to irritate me tremendously. I feel that parents owe it to their children to not use them as pawns and I feel that if the custodial parent is receiving a lot of child support every month, then that is another important reason to not send the kids over in rags.

I think that your clothes ought to stay at your home. However, you should definitely document and take pictures of the kids in the rags BM sent them in.

I did luck out on this one... DH already had a plan in place with BM when we started dating. The kids only went to her EOW. When they would get back from her house, no matter how horrendous the outfit, it immediately went off and was put away until it was time to go back to her house.

When I entered the picture, this kept up because with my allergies, I couldn't have ANYTHING from her house in our house due to her smoking. The smell permeated EVERYTHING.

I love to bargain shop. I would sometimes pick up cute, cheap clothes to send along with them. She only keeps clothes for them to have on the weekends they are there. Even now at the ages of 17, 15, 14 must of what they have at her house is hand-me down stuff.
"I HAD to pick the road less traveled..."

We have special wonderful rarity in our situation regarding SDs clothes. BM provides almost the whole wardrobe. Every once in a while SD will get something for a gift but for the most part its all taken care of. DH doesn't shop, doesn't get into the style of things which is probably what triggered our blissful scenario...lol I just have to be careful not to give sentimental hand-me-downs to SD from BD. DH will send her back to BM in hand-embroidered items made with my sweat and tears without blinking.

My b-kids I'm a little more careful because I'm particular about coordinating outfits. And everything seems to get destroyed when at XH. No one over there has ever heard of stain-lifters supposedly.

This drives me crazy too. It's not so much the every day clothes that are the problem, but things like the basketball uniforms and snowpants always get lost over there. One time--and I'm honest to God not joking here--BM sent SD back to us wearing Christmas stocking as socks because she said she didn't have any. How crazy can you get lady?! Go buy some f'ing socks!

We have SS10 most of the time. He spends EOW with his mother. He has a full set of clothes here and a full set of clothes there. Every week it seems she buys him another outfit. I'm sure he won't be able to wear half the stuff before he outgrows them. We think she does this, keeps his closet and drawer full over at her house, to maybe make her feel not so bad about seeing him once every other weekend? Even before the EOW, when she saw him for a couple of hours here and there, not often etc, she still kept a full wardrobe of clothes for him.

Anyway, with the EOW, we don't really care what clothes that we've purchased go or stay at her house. As I see it, the clothes are FOR SS10 and NOT the household. BM has told him in the past that he isn't allowed to take his clothes or things like a skateboard she bought, back to our house and it bummed him out. The ONLY person being punished was SS10, certainly not us. She's gotten better about it and he often comes home in clothes from there so I'm sure there are clothes from here at her house. Again, the clothes go with the child, IMHO. Now, the only time we've really had a problem is when it's been really cold (we're in FL) and with the back and forth, most of his long pants ended up over there when he needed them for school over here. His sports clothes and equipment go back and forth, no problem.

Although I don't care much for BM and her designer wearing non working always shopping sleeping or sick persona, she always makes sure that SS10 is properly dressed when he comes back and we do the same when we take him to her.

I have had this same issue with my SD. I made it clear to her that anything we buy for her stays here at her dad's house. I go so far as to check her bag before she leaves to make sure it stays here. If the mother is receiving CS then she needs to be buying her child clothes. That is my personal opinion on that matter. You are not alone with this issue.

Same here. BM constantly complains that we don't send the kids clothing back -- but it makes no sense, because it's not like we return the children to her naked, and she doesn't return our clothing...argh.

My method of dealing with this is to just ignore her rants on this topic and just not comply with her demands.

UGh this used to happen to us all the time. We used to go out and buy SS8 (6 then) the cutest clothes, send him home and then we'd get a call about how he had no clothes!!! WTF? We'd spend hundreds of $ on top of CS...and then she wanted to ask for MORE $?!

When BD was born we couldn't afford to do that anymore, and when BM asked for $ for school clothes we ignored her. Then she started sending him in rags, so we asked him to bring clothes for himself. When he didn't we called her from the store and asked her if she had clothes for him, when she said "no" we said that we'd buy them and deduct them from CS because our son couldn't be walking around in these clothes to school...there was suddenly a different tune being sung, and now there are no problems with clothes.

An amusing aside to all this...we dressed SS7 today and sent him off. Then we went into his room and together counted his remaining pants. NONE, other than the ones he wore over, which I BOUGHT HIM! He has not a single pair of clean pants in his room. I bought 6 pairs in December. BM insists that we are hoarding his clothing.

I'm going to go ahead and write DAD in the label of every pair of pants so when that moron insists we have all of his clothing that she bought she can just check the labels.

BD used to send the boys to us in stupid looking clothes, that didn't match, that came from Goodwill (I'm not knocking Goodwill but ffs you can find decent stuff there). We would send them back in nicer clothes, and he would actually call freaking out because he wanted the crappy clothes he sent them to us in back.

I kid you not, the kids came to our house 2 summers ago when we were about to leave for vacation SS6 was dressed in a bright orange striped polo shirt, with bright orange shorts, socks up to his knees, and crappy sneakers. I have pictures

Things have changed sooooooo much. When my husband and I divorced many years ago, I ALWAYS packed bags for my kids and they took all the clothes they needed to their dads and came home with them at the end of visitation. My son divorced 4 years ago and he has 3 kids. His ex has NEVER sent any clothes with the kids, my son has to have his own clothes for them when he's got them. They wash what the kids come in and send them back to mommy in her clothes. She's afraid they'll ruin her clothes for them while they're at daddy's. My son used to get his kids every other Thurs-Sunday evening, so that meant he had to dress them for school on Friday mornings. One time she was so worried that he would send my granddaugther in clothes that weren't nice enough, so she came to school and took my granddaugther into the rest room and put "nice" clothes on her!!!!!! My granddaughter had tumbling after school that day so her other grandma dressed her back in daddy's clothes before she brought her back to my son's. My ex-daughter-in-law.........a real piece of work!!!!!!!!!!!

I had the same issue. Now I send SS4 home in the same clothes BM sends him in. So now she doesn't get anything out of sending him in hobo attire.