My two SDs aged 15 and 14 are running the family they live in with their mother and have successfully done the same with our family.

Our family consists of DP and I and our two yearold child together, my three kids from ist marriage and every second week the two "princess step daughters".

They sd are very manipulative and "fake". They put on a good show in front of their Dad who thinks they can do no wrong. They still call him "daddy" and both put on cheesy baby voices when he is around and love to be all over him physically whenever they can, especilly the 15 yearold.

I have constantly tried to include them in our family but am sick of hitting my head against a brick wall. The catalyst was when I had a recent birthday part whereby the two step daughters were invited to my birthday but told their dad they would never come. I confronted the SD15 two weeks later and said to her that I was so disappointed that she never came to the party, didnt make an effort, if even just for her dad and never bothered to say happy birthday to me. She started screaming, become hysterical and told me to get out of her bedroom. Dp came running to her aid, gave me a filthy look, consoled her and told her to ring her bio Mum so that she could go home. I managed to convince her not to go home but to talk to me to work through this....she settled down and we spoke for about an hour. She told me many things that she was unhappy with, which were all to do with her Dad and why he left her Mum, nothing to do with me. She begged me to be friends with her Mum and asked me three times to contact her Mum as she said that she would like to have her Mum and I have a good relationship so that she could have a more "normal" family.

The next day Sd15 was fine. She was polite (which is unusal) and seemed to even make an effort. I have not seen her for 6 weeks. Since she went home to her Mums, she has written her dad a letter explaining that she is never living with me again and that she wants her dad to leave me and her half brother and get a house somewhere alone so that she and her sister can see him without me.

Dp has punished me for the last 5 weeks. he disengaged completely from his step children, from me and from his own two yearold. I held the family together single handely whilst dealing with the after shock from DS15 letter. I had even contacted her Mum as her request to have her say she never asked me to do this. She has lied about everything we spoke about and has made other things up. It is of no use defending myself against Dp as it is a lost cause. he will never accept anything even slightly negative about his two girls or his first wife. I believe in th ebottom of his heart he sees his kids for who the really are, but doesn't want to acknowledge the reality.

I have since found out that his exwife has been having sex with many men met online. She hasnt been accepting $$ but has been meeting men and boys online and bringing them back to her house or going to theirs for sex. She has been bragging about having sex with a 16 yearold boy whilst his parents were upstairs and also numerous married men, many who have pregnant wives.I have tried to speak to Dp about this, as the friend who told me did so out of concern for my two Sd and their safety. Dp went completely ballistic, saying that his exwife was never like this and would never do this and the friend who told me is a bitch. The woman who told me was the exwives friend whom now has nothing to do with her because of her behaviour and also because she doesn't want to get tainted with the same brush, nor dragged into any legal case as he is regularly having sex with young boys and telling all and sundry about it.

I have recently seen a counsellor about the situation and he believes that DP does know about his exwife and does believe it and that is why he is so defensive about it. If he believed it to be harmless gossip he would have just shaked his head and said how crazy is that! But...he went off his rocker....he is embarrassed and completely guilt ridden that his kids live in this environment. His guilt is overidding his role as a parent and now his Daughters play him for all they are worth.

So, the sitauation is that they have demanded that they not come here----so he goes to them so they dont have to see me
They have demanded that they do fun things and they decide ----so Dp takes them to the movies, out for dinner you name it.
They have demanded the time, the day and the hour that they see their dad---so Dp reshuffles and drops things to meet their demands
They demanded computers to do their homework or else they wouldnt see him----so Dp bought them each a brand new computer
They demand that Dp sees them alone without their brother---so Dp refuses to have our son when he sees them.

So, I have started to see a counsellor to work out my feelings....so far I have completely disengeged from the SDDs. If anyone asks me I have four children...they are no longer part of my family. Dp is their dad they are his responsibility, so too is the environment he allows them to be bought up in. I have fun special times with my lovely kids and am putting time and effort into me, my body, my health and my friends. I do things with Dp when I have time and only if it fits in with me. I have alteady started this easter stipulating the time our son and i will spend with him. I am looking after myself and my kids and he is responsible for his daughters and the train wreck that is waiting to come...I feel so much freer and so much in control! i no longer have expectations that my SDD will treat me wit respect, say thankyou for anything, no ever acknowledge birthdays or the likes. I also no longer expect much from DP