Parenting plan with baby on the way
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So i have an unusal situation, my girlfriend is pregnant with my kid and she already has 2 other kids and she has a parenting plan with her ex saying that a new bf or gf can not be introduced to the kids until after a year of dating. We currently have been togeather for about 3 months. I have been trying to figure out as the father to the expected kid what can be done if anything about the curent parenting plan, as i want to be there for her every step of the pregnancy not only dr visits but time at home with her in stead of the ocasional time before work when she comes over or the time when the ex has the kids.... oh the ex is only the step dad to both kids, the bio fathers of the 2 kids dont realy play a role in the kids life
Boy did you screw up - no pun
Boy did you screw up - no pun intended. You got a girl you have known three months pregnant and she is on at least her third major relationship which is you. Lets put it more accurately. She got you to impregnate her on her (at least) third attempt to trap a husband.
If I were you I would simply walk away from this - something you're going to have to do in a year or two anyway. She will soon tire of you or you will get totally exasperated with the whole situation. Just accept you've got 18 years of check writing ahead of you and keep it in your pants or condom in the future.
Fourth attempt OCC. The other
Fourth attempt OCC.
The other two kids seem to have two different dads, then the step-dad in the CO's and now this guy....
Apart from that I got nothing.
known her 3 months,
now she's knocked up.... for the third time, third baby daddy, with a schmuck in between....
just sitting here SMH
How away is the year mark?
How away is the year mark? Did her ex adopt her boys?
The year mark is 9 months
The year mark is 9 months away and no as far as i know he did not adopt her kids he is just the only dad that they have ever known and at the time that she was pregnant with the 1st they got married and they were in the process of geting devorced when she got pregnant and had her youngest.
Wait wait wait. She got
Wait wait wait. She got pregnant with first. She met boyfriend now her ex. She got pregnant by her soon to be ex-husband while dating the new boyfriend who is now also her ex. That's Jerry Springer material for sure. Ten grand or so can go towards future child support.
Don't let her pretty face, attitude or personality fool you. A lot of these girls don't deliberately and maliciously do this. Some do but lets assume the best. They're just dumb and ignorant - sometimes trailer trash, sometimes from mansions on the hill. Don't take it personally she just needs a working guy who hopefully will come home at night and someone to hopefully be the Daddy in her life she probably never had.
But the bottom line is the same and my advise in the first Reply above remains.
Quite frankly, I don't think
Quite frankly, I don't think you should try to do anything with the current CO and the 1yr wait. These kids have already been through two 'daddies', why rush in and introduce wannbe daddy #3.
Sure your GF of 3 months is pregnant but that doesn't mean GF and yours race to create yet another baby puts a new BF and fetus before the best interest of the current children. The pregnancy is new, it isn't hurting the 2be baby a twit at this point not to have daddy2be hovering around mommy2be...just because you want more of Gf's time immediately and to be a all the time hands on daddy to be, it's basically a mute point. Should have wrapped that thing up and put off the immediate baby in a brand new relationship being you and GF both clearly understood the CO currently in place aka one year, no introduction to present children. You took the 'chance', you lost. Live with it. GF and you both seem to be making poor choices and now you both seem to want to put your own self interest ahead of the other players in this.
Of course the very first
Of course the very first thing out of the womb the baby gets swabbed in the mouth for a DNA test right? More than one "Daddy" found out the hard way after their name was on the birth certificate and it was too late.
18 years of paying for another guys baby can leave a bitter taste in ones mouth and wallet. You can be looking at $1000 a month. Count it out. Tell mama right now that's your intentions and you will get a big argument - perhaps based on having her honesty being questioned - perhaps because she knows she'll get found out. Then you may find she's lost interest in you because she needs to find a bigger sucker quick.
Do it dude.
I suppose OP's post about
I suppose OP's post about time line he'll have to clarify because I got the impression from the way he wrote his timeline in reply to Disney that SF and woman were legally married when both children were born. Not biological father, but very well may be 'legal' father, thus the unusual parenting plan ect.
Is the ex paying CS? The OP
Is the ex paying CS? The OP says something about the kids still visiting the ex.
If he has visitation and has a parenting plan, I'll bet anything the sucker (I mean ex) is forking over money as well. As long as mom can get money and/or free babysitting from her sucker (I mean ex), she will stick to their parenting plan.
I don't think that those sort
I don't think that those sort of stipulations are legally enforceable. As long as there is no reason why you shouldn't be around kids (ie a RO against you or history of being an abuser etc) then the other parent has no say as to who the mother brings around the kids. I had a conversation with a cop about this one day when I refused to be in the house alone with SD6 whilst BM was present because she had stipulated in her stupid parenting plan that I couldn't be a sole carer for her precious daughter until my husband and I had been married for eight months (but just ignored the previous 5 months that I had already been living with my husband). However to be certain I would have a conversation with a lawyer if I were you. Also, do you really think that the ex will bring legal proceedings against your girlfriend? If not then just go ahead and do what you want.