Incase you haven't read any of my previous posts here's a quick run down:
SS11 was:
1. refusing to complete tasks for school (example: class work, bringing home homework)
2. refusing to follow the rules at home (example: leaving footballs, basketballs skateboards, Pogo sticks lying in the driveway after playing, leaving his items in areas of the home they shouldn't be).
3. Was wetting the bed (been doing this for the 6yrs DH & I have been married) and leaving those soiled clothes in his bedroom for days/weeks (started about a month ago).
4. Purposely embarrassing BS12 infront of other peers.

Here's what I did after 1 week of seeking advice from other members on StepTalk:
1. Spoke with DH and advised schooling for SS11 was no longer an area I would be involved in. MAJOR STRESS UNLOADED!
2. Told SS11 if he left things where they didn't belong they would be thrown away. when it happened again I threw away 2 skateboards, they belonged to SS11 only, and SS11 is not allowed to play football or basketball (those belong to all children in the home, but he left them out) for 3 days at this time.
3. Spoke to DH, allowed 3 days to fix the issue with wet clothing. When it wasn't, I explained to DH & SS11 I refused to live in a home that was unsanitary & smells. Further explained that I was taking all of SS11's clothing & storing it in DH & my bedroom. When SS11 needs clean clothing he must come and ask for it, at that time I will confirm that SS11 has put dirty/wet clothing in the washer to be washed & not left it in his hamper in his room. (FYI since this was put in place, SS11 has NOT wet the bed one time!!!)
4. DH & I discussed the specific incident caused by SS11. Then spoke to all four children in the home and told them: From now on, if you purposely try to embarrass someone, that person then has the right to embarrass you in return without suffering any consequence. *Have not had a chance to test this yet*

There are is so much knowledge and experiences that I have obtained from other users, though I may have had to tweek it a bit to fit my circumstances, that has helped me go from a raging manic BM/SM to start to feel normal again, and to feel like there is hope that DH & I may actually still love each other when Bio's & Skids are grown and raising families of there own.

Just wanted to take the time to say THANK YOU to those who have commented, offered advice or just their opinions. THANK YOU AGAIN!