omg, i cant believe that this is going on
if you look around in this forum you will see that im in crisis with my situation 
my SD 12 is a problem. in my house is my hubby, me, my son 10 and DS12, she is the only one that brings drame, bad energy and shit to the family.
today , iwas askin g BOTH kids to clean THEIR bathroom. mu son did his part, SD rolled her eyes, huffed, etc until she decided to work. then...the weirdest thing happened. she walked out of hte bathroom saying to me "did you call me a bitch", did you just call me a bitch".. it was like a gang member moving her head around anf puffing her chest...it was unreal. I DID NOT CALL HER BITCH...let me clarify that.she is trying to create drama dn to stop me fro masking her ot do things around the house, she is clever that way, but i will not allow her ot not do shit around hte housre while the rest of us do becasue she gets mad or she makes shit up. oh my god im so tired of tall this shit.
i told hubby if he heard what was going on and he said "kind of". I said, you need ot take care of this girl, she is out of control and talking to me like she is a gang member and making things up and if you dont stand up to het i will have to and fuck all this disengaging shit, i will have to show her her place.
he did
but still, she is 12, can you guess what is coming my way...i wnt out, i want her gone , iwant my husband
i want my son happy without seeing her , i want me and my hubby without all this shit.
now that i think about it, i should have called her "bitch" she sooooo deserves it.
Should of washed that dirty
Should of washed that dirty mouth with dish soap. Then chest bump her ass back to cleaning. Wants to act gangster give her gangster back "so what if I did what are you going to do about it?" she's 12! DH should of whipped her butt and I'd of demanded it.
Ugh! I feel for you-that is
Ugh! I feel for you-that is what I am so afraid of and dont want ss back in my house. I am sooooo much happier without him here and cant imagine the prince of darkness residing in my home on all full time basis. Cant your sd go live with her bm or some other relative you dont care for?
im so unhappy right now. all
im so unhappy right now. all i want is to be in peace with the healthy part of my family and to answer yuor question hismineandyours , no, her BM is a loser on welfare, no job, drug problem living on somebodys' basement and there is no family around...long story burt nobody around that can help.
I guess I'm a little more
I guess I'm a little more "elderly" than you great ladies, lol. Let me just say I rarely if ever hit my kids, I can count one one hand whenever they got swatted. That being said....if any kid, step or bio Dahlia, got in my face like that, it would be a one time deal. DH would not be consulted, there would be no judge and jury, just an immediate and swift beatdown. These days it seems like kids don't know thier place or role, they think they're adults??? Then they better get ready to fight like an adult! And for an old lady I can move pretty fast!
I wouldn't have slapped her
:jawdrop: I wouldn't have slapped her just for the fact I would have been dumbfounded! LOL, I'm sorry it's not funny, but please tell me your DH isn't falling for this! I would say it is time to reengage! I still believe that disengaging is an art of it's own and if it's not working you should come back full force! I'd rather fight with my DH than let a 12yr old think she got the best of me. My SD was about that age when she thought that by me trying to disengage she could do whatever she wanted to me. I started to notice some of my things missing. I know she thought she could do it bc I wouldn't discipline her anymore. She once took my make-up and locked it in her room. THE NEXT TIME SHE CAME OVER SHE HAD NO DOOR TO LOCK! DH asked my why SD's door was gone. I just said her door was locked and I needed to get in there. No questions were asked from him or SD.
I'm willing to bet that's
I'm willing to bet that's passive aggressive behavior on her part.
My son used to do stuff like that when he was caught in a lie or getting in trouble.
I call in the shock and awe or the flash in the pan experience.
Lol, seriously.
It's a common p-a behavior tactic to do exactly what you said.. deflect from the actual situation.
To take the attention from the problem and create another problem. But usually they are loud and yelling and get all crazy to try to make you focus on why they are mad.. then you forget that you were the one that was actually mad or that what you even told them to do.
I've found that I can handle it two diff ways.
I say, well, that's neither here nor there. Have you finished the bathroom yet? And I stay very monotone.
Or I get really pissy mean, then my kids always back down super quick. But then I look like the trouble maker.
So I'm happy to just flat out ignore it altogether.
Oh, and my personal favorite is the last word game. Mama don't play that! And if she does, she wins
Excellent advice!! Things
Excellent advice!! Things usually turn out better when I keep my cool. Although I admit it's much more fun to smack them down lol
But she got her point
But she got her point across.. she planted the seed in your DH's mind now.
If you do call her anything he will wonder if she wasn't telling the truth that time.
thank you all for your
thank you all for your comments.
but i did not react like the pack leader and strong woman that i normally am...i just stood there while she said something like "fine, better that way" and stromed to the bathroom again...I was frozen....Hubby was RIGHT there pretending it wasnt happening and hte only thing i though i could do withihn the fucking rules of disengamente was to follow her (shaking) and confront her with a "why are you lying this way?"
the truth is when she came out all gang member from the bathroom, what i heard was "did you call me, bitch?" the first time, i was so taken a back that i simply said "no" while i processed what i just heard, and thn she said it again "did you call me A bitch?" and then i realized what was going on but because of the disengagement and all this crap is very hard to know how to react. im sorry to disapoint you all
it didnt get me very far....all the answers that you gave me should have been the right response but all this process is so confusing htat it makes you double guess and triple guess all the normal gut reactions. instead of following my gut reaction, i had a horrible rest of my day, i could not sleep for half the night and i have woke up with a nasty cold sore in my lip....
I wonder how we can love Step
I wonder how we can love Step kids like our own. My answer is NO WAY. We raise our own kids from our own hands but we don't know how that step kid has been raise and what has got put into their head. It's so hard and sometimes I wish everybody in the whole world marries and last until they die so we will never hat step kid step mother problem. But world is not perfect! I have 15 years old step daughter with me too so I know exactly what you have to go through. It's so depressed and tough since we put our husband in the middle too.