As everyone here I have a situation with a wonderful somewhat new husband 11 years together 5 married .. that has a ex from hell. Although for 11 years I have been dealing with what I feel is just a horrible, OMG I want to kill her .. can't deal with this situation. I have felt so much comfort and weirdly.. peace.. just reading everyone else’s story. Of course everyone thinks their situation is just "unbearable" "horrible" I have seen how much worse it can be. Although it does not take away my daily struggle for strength to "deal with this" I see how much worst it can be. I think most of your could make it through Navy Seal Training seeing as what you have dealt with with the exes and step kids.

My dh's ex from hell is the typical jealous "my life sucks .. your life is great .. so I am going to take my jealously out on you and my husband and try my best to make your life miserable." Unfortunately.. my husband and I are very smart and happy and get what she is doing. I know it seems really mean to say this but she is very unattractive/overweight and 15 years older than myself. I know that probably sounds like I am a bitch or being mean but I think if that was not a problem and/or she could find someone this would not be such a constant problem. My husband is very well off and she gets a good amount of money per month and you would think she would be happy but is not ...it never seems to be enough. Any normal person would say "wow, you have it good!" but I don't even think she gets how good she has it. I own a large business and so does my husband so we do very well together so even though she gets a good amount of money that is really never a source of problem for us. We travel a lot (he never took her on one trip because he could not stand her.. she was 9 months pregnant ... trapping him into the marriage (his words not mine). He was guilted into it although his family tried to talk him out of it .. he now sees she was just after his money and realizes what a mistake he made.

The whole problem comes down to the kids. I think I am a very good step mother. I am very sweet to them .. maybe sometimes overdoing my kindness to make them happy because I don't know what else to do. We don't overly spoil them but include them in everything .. ask them everywhere... take them on cruises (she has never taken them on one vacation ... even though she can afford it .. she hoards THEIR money for herself" She gets a good deal of child support yet never gives them any money and tells them to ask their dad because she can't afford it) .. we take them skiing.. Cruises.. to the city to stay at Ritz Carlton .. not matter what it is or how nice when we get back I or my husband..normally both.. always get a call about complaints about stupid things from her. Room service, the food or type of food available.. Resturants that where not open .. really stupid .. yet it really gets to me. You spend $7000 on a cruise yet are yelled at because the kids didn't go to a certain dinner.

It's like banging your head against a wall. Over the years the kids have gotten more and more distant as her "complaints" have been verbalized in front of them. They are unusually quiet kids .. but where once sweet and nice as long as they were without her for a few days. If they are away from her it's like they are totally different people. One day back they are quiet .. Almost silent or mean or indifferent. They don't talk back or are rude but the silence is almost even worse.

She bad mouths us constantly.. very badly .. Although there is no reason because we go out of our way to make every visit "PERFECT" So there is nothing she can say bad. Yet she always does. For example she always asks the kids "Did your Dad or Stepmother have a drink on the cruise" .. of course .. they are teenagers and half the time not with us .. of course we have a few drinks by the pool or wine with diner. Neither of us overdoes anthing with our kids around because I have a younger son. Yet when we come back she tells the kids we are alcoholics and out of control. Having 3 drinks by the pool on a vacation is not a big deal yet now I feel like I can do nothing or I will be villianized. When we go out to diner if either of us orders a glass of wine or martini the next day she calls screaming we are alcoholics and should not be around her children. I find it so bizarre for what is just normal behavior. Anytime the kids are around we are walking on eggshells wondering what it will be next. If my husand and I say one cross word with the kids around which we try to keep very quiet (it is normally because she just called and had some horrible thing to say) she tells the kids we are violent to each other and should not be around us. I am talking saying something like (would you tell her to stop fn calling every 5 minutes!! I can't take it. I say it quitely in a room by ourselves so the kids must be REALLY listening almost spying to hear it. I have never spoken bad about her despite her horrible actions because I don't want to give her any fuel for the kids but I am at the end of my rope.

Again, compared to so many stories this seems trivial.. my heart bleeds for so many people I have read on the board of the horrible things that their step kids / ex's from hell do .. Violent things I can not dream about. I feel bad even complaning but it feels good just to write it for once. I AM REALLY REALLY PISSED! Augh ..feels good!

I feels good not to be alone .. and thank you all for being so honest and open and making others feel you are NOT ALONE!

Peace to you all! God knows we need it.

JennAnna