Need to vent out
I married a year ago and while dating my husband never talked about the papers for custody or anything he saw his son when he could and they live away from each other. After we got married he wants to so what he never did all these 8 years and its making me so frustrated. I cant even have peace.
the mother is thing my hd to court to remove all right feom him and for him to pay her expenses im the one that has helped withpapers, finding lawyers and everything and the momemnt i need aupport his aon and court issues are more important. Now i have a 8 year old calling and texting my hb at any time any day any moment. I dont have peace or wven peraonal time
Just finished reading a book for stepmothers but i feel helpless. I cant talk to much about the topic cu not even my hb is sure his son is his bio son but its like everything in my life is just about his son.
I have a couple of questions:
I have a couple of questions:
It seems to me, that being married to you makes your Dh feel like he would have validation in court. He isn't just a single dad- you guys have built a home. There is a support system in place. He wants you all 3 to be a family. -- While that is a very sweet sentiment, it isn't always the fit that the step parent wanted or even dreamed of.
Something that many new (or not new) step parents are often reminded of on this site is that we are all one breath from having sole custody of our steps. BM/BD could be in an accident, have a heart attack, ect at any time and the kids are coming to you. I hate saying this because it sucks to say, but having Skids around is a fact of life when you marry someone with kids. The big thing is figuring out if you can handle that now that you are already married. If you can't-- there needs to be a serious talk with your DH, probably with a counselor and be prepared for him to chose his child over you. (especially since the kid is 8, we aren't talking a horrific 17-18-19 yr old that is cussing you out, stealing, and causing havoc)
I answered but said error
I answered but said error
My stepson is a good kid with
My stepson is a good kid with irresponsible parents thats how i feel.
I was a teacher before coming to the USA and I saw a lot of cases like this. My stepson lives with his mon and by her rules . I know there a possible chance he will live with us. But right now he is doing whatever he wants, he stayed with us for a week and at the end only with me for 5 days. I put up with a 8year old who threatened me to call the police cuz i wanted to workout. When i opened his bag everything smelled like old and his shoes filled with sand a bunch of it. I couldnt watch tv in my house couldn’t listen to music or whatsoever i wished to do. But I know is not the child’s fault but I’m not his mom for me to fix it.
My husband and the mom split months after the kid was born. And I wanst there when happened but I feel the pressure of everything even paying for my husbands irresponsability as well
He plays with games over his
He plays with games over his age, watches tv as much as he wants . I know he is a good kid but he needs guidance and help. But Im not in position to make decisions over his life
It sounds like you need to
It sounds like you need to sit with your husband and detail out what is appropriate while he is in your house. You can have rules and boundaries that are more strict than BM. If you feel games he plays are over his age level for being appropriate, then lock them up until he is older. It is very simple. Yes, SS will get mad, he will pout, he might even yell. But what your husband and you have to remember is that it isn't our job to be our kids besties. We need to shape them into responsible, well adjusted adults that will be contributing members of society one day. Maybe grand theft auto for an 8 yr old isn't the best choice for getting him there... Ya know?
On another note, I know that calls irritate you while you feel like you should have alone time with your husband, but I caution you in making an issue out of that. As parents, when our kids aren't with us and they call, we answer. I do this with my own children as well as my steps. So does my husband. It isn't always convienent for us but we take the call. Maybe if it is at a time that you are spending while doing something special together, DH can say to SS-- "Is everything ok? Can we talk later, I am in the middle of something with NewStepMom right now? Love you kid! Talk to you soon!" -- Just make sure he does call SS back.
Thank you for your help. Its
Thank you for your help. Its very helpful!
what is unconfortable is that his son has a phone and calls at any time from 6 am to 11 pm almost midnight. Texting and calling just to get mad and then send angry messages ro my husband including emojis . Then I have to deal with my HD angry or sad , the BM doesnt accept any question or suggestions she only says she knows how she is raising her kid the best.