My stepson abuses me and husband blames me
HELP! I need advice desperately, my 12 year old stepson has been hitting me, spitting on me, kicking me, calling me very inappropriate names, throwing things breaking things, punching holes on walls, he slammed his bedroom door so many tines one day it just shatterrd. He gets mad over very silly things. I could literally say "hey you dropped a piece of trash can you pick it up" and he'll throw a 10 pound weight passed my head into the wall while screaming at the top of his lungs. He's hurt me bad, knocked a tooth out by kicking me in the face. He scratches me so bad years later I'll still have scars, kicks me and hits me whike Im driving, constantly throws things at me, he broke our huge flat scrren throwing a match box car at me, and trust me mich much more. Here's where things get worse... The second his dad come in the front door he shuts it off and is all "yes mama no problem let me do that for you" he has his dad completely fooled. Tonight I asked him to make his bed he refused to make it I asked him several times until finally he starting screaming at me kicked everything off his bed, during all this his dad happen to walk in I thought finally he sees its not something I'm doing. Well I was wrong now he begins to yell at me too (in front of the child) telling me to get the f*** out (of OUR house)he says that I must have done something to annoy the child. Im hurting desperately don't want to break up my family my daughter is crazy about her dad. I can't however continue to be treated this way. All I want to do is cry due to frustration. I truly believe I have the patience of a saint when it comes to that child. Every teacher, principal, counselor all say the same thing "how to you deal with all this." My husband calling me names screaming at the top of his lungs telling me this is somehow all my fault, that he cant blame the kid because I annoy him sometimes too just eggs the child on. And his dad acting like somehow the child has a right to beat me up and disrespect me is mind blowing and hurts so bad because I know my husband will never see him the way he truky is. He will always say somehow I causes the behavior. I mean the child behaves the same way at school or his real moms house. He was suspended 9 times from kindergarten once for beating up his 82 year old teacher, he's had detention 13 times already this year. Suspended 3 times last year. When it comes to our 5 year old daughter she gets away with NOTHING. She'll get in more trouble for talking loudly then our son will for puching me in the face. Theres been several times he's hit me screamed at the top pf his lungs f*** you b**** and his dad didnt even mention it to him. What can I do? What should I do??? Please help
Is this how you want your
Is this how you want your daughter to see women being treated? Save yourself and her from the abuse.
Your husband is not parenting his son. The son is out of control. Will your 5 year old daughter be the next target?
Be sure to only allow supervised visits for your DH if you leave him to ensure your daughter is not left alone with SS.
Contact a women's shelter now and put this nightmare behind you. Do nothing else for the SS. Do not be alone with him. Do not leave your daughter alone with him. If he is violent again call the police. Tell your DH that will be your plan if he cannot control his child.
Be the change you want to see in your life. Peace. Hugs.
Um, no. Do not live like
Um, no. Do not live like this.
You can not fix the child or his dad. Get out. Don't explain. Just go.
Your little girl will be fine. TRUST THAT. Being IN that house it was is doing her harm, not getting out of it.
He freaking knocked your tooth out? Are you KIDDING?! Flee!
You know what happens to 12 year old boys? They become 15 year old boys who are bigger and taller than you. I've got one in my house right now. Only I'm not afraid of him! Yours is terrifying!
This is the most dreadful
This is the most dreadful abuse from both son and father. Please get out now, it will never get better. Save yourself and your daughter. If you have nowhere to go, call a battered woman helpline.
daaaamn!! You absolutely need
:jawdrop: :jawdrop: daaaamn!! You absolutely need to GTFO of there!!
Are you actually serious??
Are you actually serious?? How many times will you have to hear this - GET OUT NOW!! If you can't do it for yourself, do it for your daughter!! I assume she is witnessing this abuse and thats exactly what it is ABUSE! if she is seeing this behaviour from both your SS and your husband (yes, they are both abusing you), then YOU are teaching her that this is an acceptable way to be treated. OMG. You don't want to break up your family??? If YOU stay and allow this to go on you are putting your own daughter at risk. Having been in an abusive marriage for 10 years, I understand how complicated we can make it, how much we can justify/excuse bad behaviour but as far as I am concerned, if your child is witnessing this and you don't get out then what happens to her is on you. IMO there are no excuses for staying when children are involved. Harsh but it is what it is.
If you are not confident in leaving at this point then at least contact a domestic abuse hotline...I am in Australia so I can't point you in the right direction if you are from the USA but I'm sure others on this site can.
You're in denial, hon.
You're in denial, hon. You've got choices. If you're afraid that no one will believe you, use your dental records as proof of the abuse. Use your phone to record. Get your evidence together and file a restraining order.
I have to ask... Is your husband abusing you physically? Are you scared of what he will do when you involve the authorities?
I have pictures of every cut
I have pictures of every cut bruise scratch everything he's ever done
Schools most certainly do
Schools most certainly do have very old woman called teacher assistance that help with kindergarten she was 82 years old
How in the world would I
How in the world would I benefit from making any of this up? I was honestly looking for advice. I thought this was a safe place to do that. People would understand and give advice apparently I was wrong.
Meet Granny – at 102, she is
Meet Granny – at 102, she is America's oldest – and most adorable – schoolteacher. Agnes Zhelesnik, affectionately referred to by her preschool and elementary-aged pupils as “Granny,” has been teaching sewing and cooking classes at The Sundance School in North Plainfield, New Jersey, since she was 80.Jan 12, 2016
I feel like such an idiot....
I feel like such an idiot....
He sees the aftermath but
He sees the aftermath but always just blows it off as boys being boys. I literally have pictures of every single cut,scratch, bruise, bump that's he's ever given me.
I don't believe your story
I don't believe your story or this one.
Why would i make this up its
Why would i make this up its humiliating I truly just wanted advice
RUN!!!!
RUN!!!!
It's mind-blowing to me that
It's mind-blowing to me that people think I'm making this up. I just honestly wanted some advice from other stuff parents this wouldn't even be a funny thing to make up it's a horrible struggle everyday of my life
It's mind-blowing to me that
It's mind-blowing to me that people think I'm making this up. I just honestly wanted some advice from other stuff parents this wouldn't even be a funny thing to make up it's a horrible struggle everyday of my life
I am sorry but you do have
I am sorry but you do have the power to end it all you know - no man is worth living like this....
get your exit plan in order , stop paying for anything, safe up to leave and next time SS abuse you call the cops... who cares if they lock his ass up and who cares if DH is not happy about it... simply call the cops and report the little shit. try and video record it all for evidence
Your husband is not "abusive"
Your husband is not "abusive" sounds like hes just a lousy husband. I don't really agree with "supervised visitation" he doesn't seem to be a danger to you or or your daughter hes just not very nice. His son on the other hand is a danger. Absolutely call the police on the son. You should have custody of your daughter on the grounds that your husband lives with someone who is dangerous. Make sure the SS is not allowed near your daughter until he calms down. This is bad parenting at its finest, he is encouraging his sons out of control behavior.
Web cams and pepper spray!
Web cams and pepper spray! Get this asshole and his toxic spawn out of your home. Call a lawyer NOW!!!!! This is not something you should tolerate and the fact that your SO is blaming it on you makes him and his toxic violent spawn both write offs in my opinion. I get that your daughter loves her dad but her dad is a useless waste of manhood and parental skin as is evidenced by his own behaviors as he tolerates and even facilitates his 12yo prior relationship crotch puke beating his wife.
Take care of you.