Money equality between son and SD
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My son has no contact with his birth father and gets no money or presents from that side of the family and never has.
My step daughter has equal time with birth mother and step father and us and she gets money and presents from her BM and step fathers family.
My partner expects DS and SD to have equal money and presents from us and my family. My partner has no family so they get nothing from his family.
My question is do you think it's fair or equal that SD get two Christmases and birthdays and my son only has one?
I don't find it fair and it's starting to upset me now. How do I broach the subject?
My family are made to feel
My family are made to feel like they have to make them equal by my partner. If they don't he gets upset and will make up the difference out of our money!
It is hard to answer this
It is hard to answer this question without knowing the kids' ages. Also, we don't know who goes where to exchange gifts. If they are older, giving varying amounts of gift cards with a small gift solves this problem. Neither kid has to say how much they got. I was in this situation when I was married, and my parents always got my SD something, but she knew she was getting presents from 4 different families and she understood why my kids would get more from them. My son was 8 years younger than her, so they would receive different gifts anyway.
The big picture is this: it isn't about the gifts. It sounds like your partner is insuring that he raises a spoiled brat and making Christmas about getting what you are "due" and not being grateful for what you receive. Nobody owes her anything, nor do they owe him anything. He is out of line.