How am I supposed to feel?
I've been married for 2 years now. I've posted before about my Sd who is 11 years old and a brat/devil! I've been working on my feelings about her trying not to dislike her so much. Not helping b/c she is just mean. But I'm trying to figure out how am I supposed to feel about her BM? Her mom is very trashy and was married to my husband for 4 years. They divorced when SD was about 2 years old. She didn't start seeing SD til I came in the picture 3 years ago. I'm very nice to BM and try to work with her on letting her see her daughter. But it is getting SO HARD for me to see her! Just knowing she was married to my husband before and has a kid with him. It really irritates me. It is hard to see someone every other weekend that had the man u married before you. Its hard to hear conversations over the phone between SO and the BM. I get thoughts of "I wonder if he misses her just a little bit?" I've asked this before to him and he said no but at that time she wasn't all the way seeing her daughter. Idk. Maybe it's insecurity? I feel pretty and worthy of being married to my husband and all but how do I deal with my negative thoughts about the BM? I love when my SD is gone from us b/c my husband has custody full time. But idk how to feel after 2 years. Shouldn't all these thoughts be gone? And I am really involved in SD's life with activities and all. The BM is not. I am the mother to SD although I don't want to be. I'm so confused? Is this even normal after 2 years? Any advice?
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If you browse around here, I
If you browse around here, I am sure that you can validate your feelings. It is natural.
I have disengaged myself alot
I have disengaged myself alot from SD. It has helped I must say but her dad works alot so I'm the only adult for her plus my 2 sons. The dad does do his part with SD and I don't mind helping when needed but this BM stuff is confusing me. How do you act like its ok to see your SO's ex wife? And why after 2 years am I feeling this much emotion?!? Its like i've been asleep these 2 years through this blended family stuff and now I'm awake! I see other ppl post things on here about this similar thing which helps a bit. I just wonder if telling my SO about my emotions with this would be ok? Idk how he would take it... and having a bratty SD doesn't help much lol.
I just learned to "grin and
I just learned to "grin and bare it."
Drama class 101
It makes me want to puke*
I think that the way your DH
I think that the way your DH interacts with the BM must be causing your emotions...if he were totally cut off from the BM minus the talks about the child, then I don't think you would feel insecure at all about her. So from an outsider view and not knowing really how he interacts with her, I would guess that the communication he has with her is either too much, too personal or you see emotion from him when he talks about her...
Actually the way he acts and
Actually the way he acts and talks to her ... is fine. He always includes me in them if need to be and he set the rules of her not coming in the house and he doesn't go into hers. I know he can't stand her. His dealings with her is great but hers... I think she does try to hard at times to get him to notice her. I trust him. Its her. Lol but I still can't figure out how to get past his past with her especially since I see her ALL THE TIME! He doesn't have to see my sons bio father b/c he is not around. Just seeing the BM and knowing they have a past of marriage and a kid who I can't stand is frustrating. But the SO is good with handling her. I give him kuddos lol
When you figure it out, can
When you figure it out, can you please break it down for me? You sound like you just described my situation exactly. And I have never figured it out. I know I'm pathetic for the way I feel but I can't turn it off. And nothing has ever helped.
Lol I will mos def let u
Lol I will mos def let u know!