help plz
hi i have an issue with my husbands "jealousy' of my daughter his sd. my dd is 11 from a previous relationship and we have 3 children together. my ex and i have a decent relationship we only talk about my daughter we do have disagreements time to time but we get along, and i get along well with his new wife. my husband on the other hand thinks i should never speak to my x or his wife. then this morning christmas eve we decided to let our kids have christmas here today so my oldert dd could go to her dads after lunch and we have a busy day tom house hopping. well when it came time to get up with the kids and do the gifts he started arguing with me about how his life revolves around my dd and her father which is not true i just made plans with the kid swap last night after i knew what we were going to do. then he went on to tell me how much he hated my x and how im a bad person cause i got pregnant at 19 and that if my dd ever gets pregnant cause of how bad of a mother i am shes not staying here.. yea seems to be totaly off topic but he was pretty much just trying to say anything hurtful. i honestly do believe hes jealous of her. and her father. my daughter is at her fathers every weekend and 2 night a week (shes very close to him) i spend no more time or less then i do with our kids. i keep everything very fair. i dont know what to do to make him stop beind so ugly about her and she was a few rooms away it kills me to think she might hear this. any advice anyone else ever delt with this kinda thing. other then him everyone gets along great. help 
thanks i should have
thanks i should have mentioned this was his idea. he hates that the kids open their gifts and have to leave to go visit family and dont get to enjoy them, he opened gifts on eve as a kid so thought it would be fun to start that. he sent them to bed the night before saying they needed to go to bed early so they can get up early and open gifts but when 7 cam around and the kids were up and he was still sleepy he got annoyed then 8 then 9 then 940 i finally asked him if he was ready to do gifts since my daughter was leaving at 1 to spend her first christmas morning with her dad in 8 years. i agree i prob need to walk away more but its so hard when he insults my daughter its not fair shes just a child. i know he has issues with my ex i guess cause when we met my x and i were still living in the same house for our daughter but had both moved on. any who. i agree our therapist told us how great it was to keep a good relationship with the ex and keep it friendly and that was the way i was raised my parents and step parents still to this day get to gether for every bday and holiday for the kids and grand kids. i have thought before that maybe he wants more of a role in my daughter life i just know that she has the kind of father i always wanted and i would never keep her from spending time with him. thanks for ur advice i think i will "try" to talk to him as of right now he hasnt spoken to me much today
Damn, where's that thumbs up
Damn, where's that thumbs up emoticon when you need it?
I had a chat with DH one day,
I had a chat with DH one day, aside from the fact that BM is psychotic and we cannot stand her I suggested that once the twins came of age we had no more to do with her, there are no pick ups or drop offs and no more child support issues. I felt I was reasonable.
DH said I was jealous of her, he'd talk to her in friendly tones, which made me feel like reaching for a barf bag, and I did not hide how I felt. The real reason I felt jealous was grief that it was not DH and I who had the kids together, and that things could have been way different.
If wishes were horses then beggars would ride...right?
Maybe, just maybe, you are a bit of a disney mom? It's hard to own a bias, I think if you sat and thought about it for a while then you could come up with a solution that makes you and DH more amicable about the situation. Maybe DD does get more than the others, because she has a source more than them? Trying to be fair is not the same as actually being fair, right?
I'm guessing your husband is
I'm guessing your husband is jealous that you weren't virginal when he married you and the girl is a constant reminder of that. Nevermind he knew that when he married you - it's still in the back of his head.
Ten to one he wasn't either but that's also irrelevent.
Ask him outright if that's the problem. If he blurts a truthful answer ask if he'll go with you to counseling and see if that sore can be healed. It's worth a shot.