I love my husband and want to keep my marriage but idk how any more. I hate being around my two skids, I don't want to see them, hear them, anything. I don't trust them around my daughter or even my dog, I don't trust them not to lie as I know they come from a strong line of mental health and coaching. The kind of talk health that could pass the psych test to be a cop yet try to run over their own kid. One of the kids isn't even my husband's.. it makes me so miserable they are around that I had even started cutting. My husband and I have talked about it, I am in therapy, etc. And yes I know this awful and yes I knew he had kids but everytime I tried to leave he promised it would be ok and we would figure it out and I wanted to believe him but now he realizes he was thinking it would get better on its own and I would change my feelings.. and no I didn't intend to have a child with him knowing how miserable his kids make me but long story short it happened. He says that he loves our daughter, loves to do things with her etc but just feels meh about the skids, says he doesn't want them around all of the time and wants to go out, travel, have our lil family but then will turn around and say he wants them every weekend and wants me to be more involved but between his guilty parenting and my feelings towards them I don't see the point. I have told my husband that if he can't decide what he wants our future to look like and discuss it with me then I will decide for him and leave, only because I don't want to be the reason he loses his kids and then hates me later but I don't want to divorce him and have to split my daughter too, I love him. His family has been downright bullying him and threatening him for not having his kids enough lately and that weighs on me too.. how do you live in this hell? How do you stand holidays and family and everything when you don't even trust or want the kids together? When it's downright painful to have anything to do with it? Again I know I'm awful but I'm trying