Dear Valued Users,
It's with a heavy heart that we announce the permanent closure of StepTalk.org on August 31st, 2025.
This decision wasn't an easy one. For over twenty years, StepTalk has been a source of support for stepparents around the world! However, over the years, the costs associated with maintaining and upgrading the site to remain secure, meet current standards and maintain availability have become unsustainable.
We are incredibly grateful for your support, contributions and the community you've helped us build. Your engagement has made StepTalk.org a special place and we cherish the memories and connections made here.
We would especially like to thank Aniki for volunteering to be a moderator and for caring so much.
Thank you for being a part of our journey and we wish you all the best.
Sincerely,
Dawn and The StepTalk Team
thank you Ann. I forgot to
thank you Ann. I forgot to add that she's 17 and has been very jealous that her dad is with me. it's been 14 months. It has definitely improved a lot as we all adjust but still...these things take time and I'm always wondering where solutions lie.
thanks again
thank you for your support,
thank you for your support, encouragement and input, I appreciate you taking the time to share that. It's great advice. I'm having a lot of mixed feelings and confusion about how it could be over time. we shall see....
It takes time. I was jealous
It takes time. I was jealous at first of my SD and felt like an outsider.The only difference was that she was 4 at the time. I knew it was wrong to be jealous of a 4 year old, but that didn't stop my feelings. Luckily for me 4 year olds are a lot more accepting of new people in their lives than 17 year olds, but it still took me time to adjust and feel like part of a family. I also mentioned my feelings to my husband, saying that I knew that it was irrational to be jealous of a young child like that but that was how I felt, and he adjusted his behavior a little to help me cope, so he would make sure to be affectionate in small ways to me even when she was around.
For you, I would let your SO know and ask him to try not to change his behavior towards you too much around your SD because it makes you feel left out. If SD has been jealous he has most likely been catering to that and acting differently when she is around. I am not sure however, with a 17 year old on the cusp of leaving home if you will ever really feel like a "family" with your SD and SO, so striving to feel like you fit in with them might not be realistic. I would more aim to feel comfortable when it is the 3 of you.
The other thing that might help the two of you is if all 3 of you sit down and dad states that you are his girlfriend/wife and that is how things are going to stay as you make him happy and that he has plenty of room in his heart for you as well as his SD.
thank you both. I'm very
thank you both. I'm very confused at this point with the situation in my relationship...I can no longer decipher what is my own insecurity versus am I really being faced with a situation that may never improve....(how he handles it, how she wants to only be with him when I'm not around etc etc...) it's complex, as these combinations of people always are.