Ex-Wife coming in our house/DH going in Ex-Wife's house
I'm I out of line for wanting some boundaries drawn? DH just got home from picking up SS6 at his ex-wife's house. I have no children from my previous marriage and have tried to understand as best I can from his side. He mentioned (and this is the first time he has been to the home she now shares with her boyfriend) that he "went upstairs to get SS"...ex-wife's boyfriend was not home. I asked him he thought the boyfriend would mind that he was in their home while he wasn't there? This caused an epic agrument. DH says he feels as he is trying to do the best he can. I explained there need to be boundaries of entering the homes they share with other people, especially out of respect with significant others aren't home.
Is this an unrealistic/unfair request?
I find it intrusive. I do not
I find it intrusive. I do not go into my XHs house. He marches right into mine - I now only open the big door leaving the metal door which can be talked through closed to avoid him walking in. BM after 3 years only started dropping the kids at my home, she calls SD on her cell phone from the curb, she has never gotten out of her car and doesn't even park in the driveway - its on the street where when you open the door you can't see her even. DH doesn't go into BMs house. He used to - I asked him if he wanted my XH wandering around our house - DH stopped.
SS is 6 years old and can
SS is 6 years old and can walk just fine. I'm not worred about them having sex...at all. The issue is a boundary issue.
That is a clear violation of
That is a clear violation of boundaries. Neither of them should ever go further than the entry way. I like to keep my home sacred, and BM free. I would imagine BM's BF would feel the same about DH and his home. It is just a matter of respect.
Time to invest.
Time to invest.
This amendment is an awesome
This amendment is an awesome one.
Did BM tell him to go
Did BM tell him to go upstairs to get his son? Personally this would not be an issue if BM came into our home to get her son. She never does though, and my DH would never go into her home simply because it is a pigpen and smells bad!
As for the person who said "you should never let 2 people who have had sex be alone in a room together"? Really like they are just going to get naked and start going at it?
Totally depends on the BM.
Totally depends on the BM. BM3 is allowed to come into my home when I am here. I always invite her in. DH, however, does NOT want her in the house if he is here alone. Once when she thought he was home alone, she came in to get SD5, and later circulated a rumor that he had hit on her. This was intended to make her boyfriend jealous. Well, the thing is, I was in the bedroom and heard the whole conversation on the baby monitor. Nothing of the sort happened. But DH doesn't like tales being told on him, and he realizes it's kind of his word against hers for anyone that doesn't know him well, so he doesn't want to be put in a position to be talked about. I understand.
I'd burn this house down around my own head before I'd let BM2 in it.
It's wrong and clear lack of
It's wrong and clear lack of boundaries, ESPECIALLY if the BM is married and her husband is not there to agree. So, you too have to deal with a skanky BM, huh? lol
My DH's ex comes in our home
My DH's ex comes in our home and he goes in hers. I had no problem with it until he would be in her house for 30/45 mins so now I usually end up going with him to pick-up kids. Although, I must say she's pretty dingy and talks about anything and all the nonsense in-between. I've had to tell her not to go through the kids dresser in my house after the third time she did it. My DH saw no problem with it but I took care of it.
Just this past week she invited my DH to her sister's daughters b-day party because they still think of him as Uncle *** even after three years. My DH's ex is a thorn in my side!!!
At least it's just an "uncle"
At least it's just an "uncle" thing. My FH's Ex tells her daughter from a different relationship that she will always be my FH's little girl, and refuses to give us SS for visitation since we won't take her also. It's such a pain. Visitation court is next month, and we're trying for OUR little girl. Should be a good time.
Oh my goodness!! What is
Oh my goodness!! What is wrong with some adults (using that word loosely)? Good luck next month in court...hopefully the ex won't tell complete lies to make herself look better.
BM never comes anywhere near
BM never comes anywhere near my house! Never will as far as I am concerned, if she ever has to drop off/pick up from here she can wait at the freakin curb!
OH however (this really annoys me) still goes in to her house to pick up/drop off. Packs their bags for them (ok - have to concede this one as when he doesn't check they never have enough or the right kind of clothing. Either she doesn't care or wants to fuck him around so he has to take them home at some point to get corrent clothing) When he drops off he takes them upstairs, puts them to bed, listens to readers... NOT HAPPY!
I am hoping that this changes next week, they are finally moving out of what was the family home this weekend. So they will be living in a house he has no ownership of, never has lived in etc - it's not where he lived with the kids at one point, so he has no right going in there, and I really hope BM sets the boundaries and doesn't let him.
Which still leaves us with the bag packing problem! but will eliminate the putting to bed, reading crap.