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DH coming home later than expected... :(

Mpjcmom's picture

Submitted by Mpjcmom on Wed, 06/27/2012 - 11:36pm

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Blended Family Issues

Hello all....I posted a few days ago about my sd12 coming to stay with me for a few days (DH working out of town). She got here Monday night. I agreed to do this because BM's boyfriend is having surgery this week. Ok fine....sd12 is not a bad kid, but it always feels awkward to me when she and I are alone together. Well, we have been managing, filling the days....shopping, going to the pool, out to eat (the stuff that costs money is being funded by DH!). I was expecting DH back tomorrow around dinner time. Well, come to find out, he'll be taking the late flight, and won't get in til after midnight! I am sooo bummed!! That means another full day to get through with sd. Sad Like I said, she's not a bad kid, but it's like she takes over the house.....monopolizes the TV, blankets all over the couch, wet towels everywhere....I'm sure many of you can relate! I just want my house back. In addition, I am missing my bd14 terribly. She is at her dad's for summer visitation. Ugh...I am a teacher and always look forward to having the summers off...but this kind of stuff almost makes me look forward to the school year and getting everything back to "normal." And, it would be nice if my DH even said thank you....he hasn't....I hope he realizes I don't have to be doing this! It's like it's expected...sigh...

Mpjcmom's picture

Submitted by Mpjcmom on Thu, 06/28/2012 - 12:32am

You're right, Manymoments....this is not the first time I've watched sd12 because BM is "busy" with something else. I think next time I will be "busy"!! I feel kinda taken advantage of. Sad Yeah, I was hoping DH would say here's some extra money, go buy yourself something...but he didn't. I think it doesn't cross his mind that it would be a burden for me to watch his little princess. She is definitely a daddy's little girl. Ugh, I love my DH, but all this step-stuff is hard!!

Mpjcmom's picture

Submitted by Mpjcmom on Thu, 06/28/2012 - 12:36pm

I know what you mean, outtahere, about not working. Because I have the summers off, it seems BM and DH see no reason why I can't watch their little darling. Ugh! DH even said to me last night that I probably would have been really bored this week without sd around. Umm no, I would have enjoyed the alone time! And as for DH buying me something nice for doing this...sigh...it's probably not going to happen. I just need to learn how to say no.... Sad

janeyc's picture

Submitted by janeyc on Sun, 07/01/2012 - 6:12am

The cheeky swine, how dare he say that to you? They think what they want to think, I have one of those Bd's as well lol, however he has been retrained now, yes you need to start saying no, we just get taken for granted otherwise.

herewegoagain's picture

Submitted by herewegoagain on Thu, 06/28/2012 - 6:56am

You are officially a SAINT. I will be contacting the higher powers to put your name up as a SAINT. :O

Mpjcmom's picture

Submitted by Mpjcmom on Thu, 06/28/2012 - 12:31pm

Ha ha, thanks herewegoagain....can I quote you on that?!? Wink

just tired's picture

Submitted by just tired on Thu, 06/28/2012 - 12:58pm

I wouldn't wait for him to give you the money for something for yourself. Just go do it.

One of my girlfriends is married to a man who is extremely well off. But, he has an ego as large as Alaska. Everytime they fight about something she buys herself a gorgeous piece of jewelry.

Seems fair!

Mpjcmom's picture

Submitted by Mpjcmom on Thu, 06/28/2012 - 11:19pm

I like your idea, just tired! DH gave me $200 for the week to spend on his little darling and, sadly, it's pretty much all gone. I took her shopping at Target and Walmart. Sad side note.....while out shopping, she tells me that her mom is always telling her she'll take her shopping, but she never does....she's always too busy with work. (Yeah right....more like busy with her new boyfriend!!). I took her to Hobby Lobby to buy craft stuff, and I took her out to eat. Tonight I drove her 40 minutes one way (yep!) to spend time with a friend of hers from school. I figure that round-trip used up what was left of my $200 on gas. I am officially done!! DH will be home in an hour or so, and he can take over the parenting duties!! Next time I am asked to babysit my sd while DH is out of town, I will come to this board for reminders why I need to JUST SAY NO!!!

janeyc's picture

Submitted by janeyc on Sun, 07/01/2012 - 6:10am

Why don't you tell Sd that you don't want her making a mess in your home and monopolizing the tv, I would'nt put up with that, Im sure you'd feel more comfortable then, kids will do what they can get away with and push for more, if he asks you to take care of her again, say fine under my terms, why did he decide to take the late flight? I hope he had a damn good reason.

Saf102512's picture

Submitted by Saf102512 on Sun, 07/01/2012 - 7:38pm

I would make her clean up after herself. Hopefully you won't have to babysit again.. I feel your pain though, I do it every single day with my sd. Dh works 6 days/wk and I stay home with my son & sd during summers.

OMG_Why_Me's picture

Submitted by OMG_Why_Me on Mon, 07/09/2012 - 3:52pm

You shouldn't feel responsible to entertain her. she's 12 and can entertain herself. You need some "me" time and it's OK to say so. Also, make her pick up her things. I wouldn't clean up after her just because she's staying with you.

Sunnyd87's picture

Submitted by Sunnyd87 on Mon, 07/23/2012 - 1:47am

Oh man I feel the same way! My bf filed to share custody if his 3 yr old daughter and he got it but guess who is stuck watching her on the days he has to work not to mention his vacation weeks! I felt like it was apart of the package but now I realize that I can say no since she is not my child not my problem