Dealing with Fiances Baby Mama - how involved is the ex in your relationship?

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If you are remarried and you and your husband had a child, is the ex involved with that child in any way or have any communication or contact with them? How involved is the ex in your life period? My fiance seems to think I should let baby mama around our child just because she's his childs mom. The girls are close in age so I can see later in life how they may want to play together but as an ifant I see no reason for baby mama to even deal in our family. She has caused nothing but grief since she popped into the picture (it was a "surprise" to find out he had another child after we started dating and she was really pissed he had moved on). If she had been decent I would of maybe been a little more open minded however given she was a royal pain i want nothing to do with her.

No way in Hell. BM will

No way in Hell. BM will never have anything to do with our child. I suppose there is some chance they will meet each other some day if SD matures enough to have anyone other than BM in her life, but outside of say a wedding or something, no, no communication, no contact.

BM is Not involved in our life at all. She in an annoyance and someone we deal with in court. That is all.

Then again, my DH also has no use for BM and considering what she's done with SD, would never have Any desire to have BM around our kid even if I was ok with it. Your man is crazy for wanting to allow drama queen in a position to influence your child at all.

I have no clue. I guess when

I have no clue. I guess when she picks up their kid she wants thold her or something. She mentioned to him she's afraid I will not want her in my daughters life...well DUH. He caters to her becuase we can't afford to get papers and he's afraid she will run if he pisses her off taking his child. It's been almost a year since she's popped back into the picture and he has yet to set boundries for BM. My ex husband deals with me only when I need to discuss something about my son with him, he does not come in my house when he drops my son off and pulls up to pick him up. I don't understand why BM feels the need to be all up in our family and why fiance lets her. She has caused so much drama and it's not like they were married or in a long relationship or anything. They were together 3 months.

I've already told him that we

I've already told him that we need some progress in that department before we get married. Already checked with legal aid and unless they kid is in danger they can't help. And I already plan on being MIA with my kid when she's around just to keep the peace for now. I figured that if I posted this on here maybe fiance will see replys and see it's not just me and it's not a normal thing that bm is like that.

that is great going there and

that is great going there and sending now

There is no reason for her to

There is no reason for her to be in your home. Bm has never set foot through our door and never will. I don't even want her looking at mine and dh daughter.

Boundaries. He needs to set

Boundaries. He needs to set them NOW. Period. Dot. End of story!

Good luck. I, myself, couldn't marry a man who allowed his EX wife to have ANYTHING to do with us at all. She has her time with kid, he has his time. SEPARATELY.

Neither my fiance or myself

Neither my fiance or myself have dealt with blended families before but I have several friends who have and I enformed him this is not the way it's supposed to work. It really all boils down to the fact she is still after him and he don't see it. He thinks she's just being nice by doing some thing but i"m not supid and see right through it. Last week she went off becuase i chnaged my facebook pic to one of him kissing me on the cheek. She said I did that to spite her and rub it in her face. My reply was...um no, i did it becuase i liked the picture and it's not my problem she felt the need to stalk me on facebook. Fiance had the balls to ask me to take it down so she would get off his case. OMG talk about fire from my eyes....

And he wants BM around my familY....hahah ummmm NO

Hell to the no. BM does not

Hell to the no. BM does not need to be in YOUR life at all - much less your child's life.

She is doing this to try to stay close to your SO. He's afraid she will take off? Tell him he should respect you so you don't run off from being treated poorly.

one reason she gave is that i

one reason she gave is that i have something to do with her daughter. I told him its not an eye for an eye thing. I'm going to be her step mom and BM is NOTHING to our daughter.

SO keeps compalining about

SO keeps compalining about being stuck in the middle of us. I don't really get it. I don't understand WHY. If this is a true relationship I come before she does and of course all kids come first.