Cooked dinner for 17 people, 10 days post op from shoulder surgery
So here goes my story. Last month I had shoulder surgery on the right, I'm also right handed. My SO informs me that his parents who live out of state will be coming to stay with us for a few days for his birthday. Fast forward to SO's birthday. I cook dinner for 17 people, with one arm and very little help. I ask my SD to help by peeling the corn, and she promptly tells me "NO". I clean up after everyone, by myself. 3 weeks go by and his parents are still staying in MY house, and I'm still taking care of 8 - 10 people almost every night for dinner. I go back to work and 3 days later his parents go home. Am I crazy for being angry at SO for putting me in this position? He can't seem to understand how terrible that was to do to me. I know his birthday was important to him and I think it was great that his parents wanted to come and celebrate with him, but come on, 3 weeks in my home and I'm supposed to be recovering from surgery. I feel like a door mat, like everyone just walked all over me and my SO did nothing to help take care of me.
I can't even look at SO right now. His kids are pissing me off and I can't stand looking at them either. Am I totally off base for being so angry that I don't want to go away with him to visit his parents next month?
How should I have handled this situation? I'm really at a loss as to how anyone can do something like that to another person. He really doesn't see any wrong in what him or his family did to me.
I found out when they were
I found out when they were already on their way to visit. They were acutally 2 hours away when I learned of the company. Really sucked!
HA HA HA...your
HA HA HA...your straightforward-ness cracks me up!
"I'd have been propped up in
"I'd have been propped up in my bed asking when my meals were going to be brought to me."
Bingo!!
My house, not his. He lives
My house, not his. He lives with me.....for now that is.
I really needed to hear that I'm not being selfish. I'm being treated like I'm wrong for being upset.
Thank you all for your imput.
Thank you all for your imput. I was starting to think I'm crazy or something. I feel so betrayed. I trusted him, loved him, did everything I could to make everyone feel comfortable.
I'm washing my hands of this mess so no one can "wipe their feet" on me again.
There is a difference between
There is a difference between loving someone (wanting to do special things for them and their family) and being a martyr. In this case, you were being a martyr. Don't do it again. It is quite alright to care of yourself when you need it most. The timing of his birthday and your shoulder surgery couldn't have been worse. But it is what it is. I would have told him "I'm sorry that I can't help much with taking care of your family and making a big party for your birthday but I am just physically unable to do this right now." Any man worth his salt should have recognized that without you even telling him. You need to start establishing boundaries right now so things like this don't happen in the future. If you let this happen again, it will only set a precedent. Stop it in it's tracks now.
As for visiting his family next month, I wouldn't much want to go either but if you do - sit back, kick up your feet and let them do all the work. You've earned that!
Three weeks?? They stayed
Three weeks?? They stayed for THREE WEEKS?!?!? :jawdrop: I don't know how you kept your mouth shut, honestly. I would have asked them to leave. And take SD with them.
My mother has a saying.
My mother has a saying. "House guests are like fish. After three days it starts to stink!"
I had simple arthroscopic
I had simple arthroscopic shoulder surgery a few years back. Recovering from that was hands down the MOST painful thing I have ever endured. They should have all been waiting on you hand and foot. What kind of shitty person sees someone in a kitchen, cooking for them, with a sling/cast/band aid/ whatever, after having surgery???? If I had a friend or family member attempting such a thing, I would have kicked their ass to the couch and asked what needed to be done and brought them a beer and a painkiller. Three weeks? Christ on crutches that is unbelievable.
Time to grow your bitch wings
Time to grow your bitch wings and let fly.