Bringing a baby into a blended family
I am a 24yo SM of two teenage SSs (12 & 13) and I have no children of my own. My DH is 33. The boys live with us full-time and visit their BM every other weekend (unless she doesn't want them). They are good kids and we are pretty close. They don't really have a relationship with BM.
My DH and I want to try to get pregnant soon. While I am super excited I'm also nervous about bringing a baby into a blended family. I don't think we will tell my SSs about the baby until I am pregnant. A lot of "what if"s keep playing through my head.
What if my SSs respond negatively to the situation? How difficult will it be to raise two teen boys and a baby at the same time? What if I feel like my DH is paying more attention to his BSs than me and the baby and I get super jealous?
For those of you who had a similar experience, how did you avoid worrying about these things, or how did you cope? Any advise will be appreciated!!
What an uplifting story! I
What an uplifting story! I think you handled it beautifully with the skids.
Everyone wants to feel valued and it sounds like having a younger sibling gave them opportunities for growth. So well done, keekeedee!
Definitely include them my
Definitely include them my skids hat me the one has only been in my presence 1 time but loves her little sister to pieces. Sounds like you guys are pretty blended already this should be a welcomed addition.
I haven’t actually been
I haven’t actually been through this YET, but I am in kind of the same boat as you so I wanted to comment. I am 27, DH is 30, he has SD5 and I have no kids of my own. DH and I want to try to get pregnant this summer. I get nervous about how this is all going to go. DH’s sister just had a baby a few weeks ago, and SD has been a complete brat about not being the center of attention and this is just her COUSIN, not her half brother or sister! I think you will have a little bit of an easier time in that aspect though since your skids are older boys and probably aren’t going to worry about that sort of thing! They are boys, they are older, and they have each other. I think you will be fine!
We had a similar situation.
We had a similar situation. SS was 14 at the time and he adores his sister, he is a great brother. He loves to read to her and is just very sweet, which surprised me a little because I just figured he'd be disinterested at his age.
Although I will say SS was pretty weird about the actual pregnancy - maybe his age? I asked him once if he wanted to feel the baby kick and he practically turned green. He said he thought pregnancy was kind of gross and he'd be happy when the baby was out. He did seem to enjoy that someone else in the house had the same appetite as him though!
My only advice would be to not tell your skids you are pregnant until you're ready for the world (including BM) to know. Even if they aren't close to BM, there's no guarantee they won't let it slip. We told SS pretty early with my first pregnancy and asked him not to tell for a while. He tried, but accidentally said something that made his mom suspicious and when she asked if I was pregnant, he said eventually said yes (he's a terrible liar.) That pregnancy ended in miscarriage shortly thereafter. I was heartbroken, and it was really upsetting that someone I don't like knew something so personal about me. Not only was SS upset by the news, it was very awkward for him to update BM, who then preceded to tell him, with no sympathy at all, "there must have been something wrong with it." Nice.