BM Boundaries
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Just venting here.. & this is not the full story of the BM, just the latest example of how she has no boundaries.. So last night my DH came home from work & told me BM called him crying because her uncle died.. & also asked him to fix her air conditioner.. like I’m sorry about your uncle, but call your own family member or friend.. who does she think she is calling my husband crying to him.. & open the damn phone book & find an HVAC company.. This is just what happened in 1 day.. So you get the picture.. Does anyone else have these issues & how do you handle them?? The only thing they should be communicating about is the skid!!
Our BM used to always contact
Our BM used to always contact DH to come and do something for her even though she's got men coming and going around her house like you would change your underwear. Finally, one day I announced that to BM and that with all the men coming and going surely one of them would help her.
I always say that BM takes situations (the death of an uncle) and makes them into opportunities (by the way, now that you feel sorry for me, can you come a fix my air conditioner?) It's all about manipulation }:)
Yep, it's your DH's problem.
Yep, it's your DH's problem. Many of these crazy women will do this. It is up to your DH to stop it. He should let her know that from now on if it's not related to the kids, he doesn't want to hear about it and will either hang up on her or not answer the phone at all. These women get away with it because of DHs who have NOT set any boundaries.
It's crazy and I just feel
It's crazy and I just feel like she is totally over-stepping here. I have suggested no phone calls, only text/email, however she doesn't work & has no money so she doesn't have a cell phone/computer. She lives with her 3rd baby daddy's mom & calls from her house phone lol
BM calls bf and discusses
BM calls bf and discusses everything with him. I told him I'm sick of it and it needs to stop. I asked him to set boundaries.
She's married so she has someone to depend on that should be her friend and confidant.
Why is she bugging a man that to hear her say it she can't stand??
I think the key word here is manipulation and control.
In both our cases!!
It is definitely about
It is definitely about manipulation and control. These women think that because they had a man's baby, the man is enslaved to them forever. Think again!
It is up to your DH to put an end to this.
Ah yes...welcome to my
Ah yes...welcome to my world!
On Mother's Day, instead of calling HER CHILDREN, she texted SO "I HATE YOU!" he responded (against my sage advice) "Nice, you can call/skype/test the kids ANYTIME you want to...not my fault you never do. Don't blame me!" She then called him, he answered (again, against my sage advice) crying about how sad, lonely, broke, broken hearted, abused, put down, put out, etc that she was...LMAO...SO kinda asked for that one IMHO. He was in a foul mood for the remainder of the day...AWESOME!
For some reason, the email only communication is IMPOSSIBLE...I don't get it, it pisses me off to no end, nothing I can do about it (or so it seems). SO sees the reasoning but he sends and email & Nasty responds with a text or phone call.
It's all about her & what she wants. She is very manipulative. :sick:
Until SO puts his foot down (dreaming of the day!), she will continue. Speaking about YOURS and MINE!
You all are absolutely right,
You all are absolutely right, DH needs to put his foot down & apparently there is nothing I can personally do. It's just always something & I am really sick of it! Like a few days ago, she called telling DH how her & her mom were fighting. WHO CARES????? If you need someone to talk to, it needs to NOT be my husband!! }:)
He knows how to hang up a
He knows how to hang up a phone, right?
Yeah...would have been nice!
Yeah...would have been nice!
Or how about texting back
Or how about texting back saying, "Who is this?" Or something that will catch her off guard.
LMAO I wish!
LMAO I wish!
Or how about texting back
Or how about texting back saying, "Who is this?" Or something that will catch her off guard.
Classic case of a woman who
Classic case of a woman who has'nt let go yet and to help her would just encourage her further, when you split up with someone its hard not to have them there for you anymore, however you need to move on with dignity and accept it.
As others have mentioned,
As others have mentioned, this is something DH can and should put a stop to. Be careful, though, that calling him out on it doesn't make him just hide it from you. Kind of like how rubbing a puppy's nose in its poop just teaches it not to poop in front of you. My SO has come leaps and bounds from how he used to be, but I know there is some of it just going on behind my back.
I have been with my DH for 3
I have been with my DH for 3 years so it's like enough is enough! BM has a boyfriend so I don't know where her need to constantly call is coming from (her current bf is her third baby daddy- well she is pregnant now, due any day- & my DH was her first baby daddy- none of them ever married her). I am definitely afraid that he is leaving a lot of what she does out and keeping it from me. Last night, when he told me how she called him crying, I flipped out and he was like why are you mad at me? This is why I don't tell you stuff. So apparently there is more that he has not said. I hate this!!
Our BM does this crap all the
Our BM does this crap all the time....and she's IN a relationship with someone! So why does she not turn to her new partner to help her with whatever is wrong this time????
Luckily for me, DH does not respond. In fact, he just plain ignores BM because to engage with her in anyway is her form of heroin. If she can get him to engage, then she can pick a fight...and that's all she wants...is to fight.
So, when DH ignores her, he gets nasty text messages or emails or voicemails telling him what a sorry POS he is, that he's NEVER been a parent, and he never will be, blah, blah, blah.
She hates it that he won't engage. Even instructs SD14 to try to get him to engage.
BM & SD14 are pathetic.
Soon after our separation my
Soon after our separation my ex asked me to fix the back yard fence. I told her that her new live-in boyfriend wasn't disabled - not that it would have mattered if he were.
The point being that if your husband repaired the A/C then he is the problem not the ex-wife. Shoot if your husband would fix my A/C for free I'd be calling him too.
LOL No, DH didn't do it, he
LOL No, DH didn't do it, he told her no, but that doesn't stop her from continuing to ask for crap that is not our problem or responsibility! Get this- just today, BM called DH again & asked him to take SD early (it is not our week) because BM is "sick." First of all, she's a liar so no idea if she's really sick or not, but even if she is, WHY ARE WE SUPPOSED TO CARE??? Get a babysitter! So when DH told her no (which I am glad he did!), she called DH''s MOTHER (yes, you read that right) & she said yes she will take SD and now she is mad at DH for saying no. WTF kind of mess am I living in????
Right. When I said something
Right. When I said something to DH's sister about how BM needs to call her own family/friend, she said "she has no one." STILL not our problem! If we needed a babysitter on our week with SD, we would call our family or friend. It would not even cross our mind to call her. SMH.
& it's just making it worse
& it's just making it worse that DH's mom keeps giving in to BM and taking SD because that just makes her keep coming back for more!
WOW!! That is definitely
WOW!! That is definitely her!! She does not work, has no education, she is pregnant right now with her third baby (also third baby daddy, none of which wanted to marry her). WOW. It's almost like she doesn't WANT to have a decent life! You hit the nail on the head!
I had this issue a while
I had this issue a while back. BM's boyfriend was in jail. She would call my husband to fix her car and even had the nerve to ask him to get her an apartment in his name. I was in shock! Her brother would call and come by our home asking for favors too.
Oh, my husband was telling
Oh, my husband was telling his ex-wife about our fights...to "gain her opinion." Told him it makes no sense bc their relationship failed how could she be of any use to him not to mention we're completely different. She gained full-custody in the divorce bc he was too foolish to llok through the papers. He never even knew until I found the records online then he actually said something to her but other than that...nothing. I'm glad to say that now he doesn't talk to her about our fights anymore but to his sister (not entirely better, but better. I've asked him repeatedly to standup for himself when she makes him out to be a deadbeat dad to her friends on fb but he says "he wants no conflict with her for the kids sake."
I've since seen he's like this with his male coworkers too so it's not that he still has feelings for her he's just a push-over and he will never address these things with her. I've since spoken up to her...which made her very uncomfortable. She would come to our house and go through the kids dresser (my sons clothes are in there also). After the third time I had to tell calmly her look this is our house, if you need anything let us know and we will find it. Now she labels all their clothes...even underwear. Can you speak to her yourself about these issues or would it make things worse?
The only times I have ever
The only times I have ever tried speaking to her, it has turned into a huge argument. The last time I tried to talk to her was over a year ago. I feel like it's DH's responsibility to step up and tell her to leave him alone, but then sometimes I just want to call her myself & tell her to STOP CALLING MY HUSBAND. Unless it's about the kid, she should not be calling him. I don't know what to do. It might sound petty to people who don't understand the whole SM situation, but it's a major issue to me. I feel like she's constantly intruding in my life. DH is very non-controntational so he would never say anything to her (or anyone else) that he knows would make her mad/start a fight. Makes me sick. BM has SD this week & this is also the week she is due to have her next baby so DH said we might have to get SD early if BM goes into labor! I said nope! Not my problem. She wanted to have all these kids, she needs to take care of them or find a babysitter like we would do in that situation.