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Am I wrong for not liking my husbands kids and their moms....

mysuesue's picture

Submitted by mysuesue on Mon, 06/18/2012 - 2:21pm

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Blended Family Issues

I have a 9 yr old and I'm 9 months pregnant....My step daughters are 17 and 8 and 5. I cant stand any of them....my Husband has joint of the 5 yr old that tries and manipulate you by acting like she is 3!! The mother of the 5 yr old got the mother of the 8 yr old to not allow my H to see his other daughter because he married me and never married any of them so his 2nd BM decided that if he wants to see his daughter he can only go pick her up from her house alone and have visitation there at her house she called it "private time" My husband refuses to disrespect me so now he isn't allowed to see her until we go to court and he cant take a lot time off work to go to the court house or he will get fired ugh I hate these women...not only did she do that but she also got the 17 yr old to hate her father for it also. My life is hell with all these women and their kids always talking sh!t about me and my H. He pays megga bucks in child support and still has drama with them. On fathers day he wasn allowed to see the 5 yr old even tho it was his week because the mom refused to drop her off at her day care. The five yr old doesn't want my husband to spend anytime with my 9yr old daughter or me...she always has to be center of attention...all the time.. and try's to sleep with us all the time ( cause she sleeps with her mom and her bf at her house ) cant eat food properly and anything she touches gets broke or tore up and soo much more...I hate that I cant stand her or any of his kids really. Its like I'm not good at being a woman. She cant even put a straw in a juice and always says " I cant doooo it" just so you have to do everything for her...she acts totally different when playing with my daughter she doesn't talk like she is 3 and even threatens to hit my daughter or tell on her if she dont do what she wants. omgoodness I cant stand the weeks she is here with us, I question all the time if I cant keep doing this...not sure I can...he has way to much drama and kid problems, but I feel like if I leave I let them win lol. I dont know what to do honestly.... I do love him and we are about to have a baby so its confusing. Is there anyone that has the same issues??

hippiegirl's picture

Submitted by hippiegirl on Mon, 06/18/2012 - 5:39pm

No, you are not wrong at all. Truth be told, I wish my skids and the women who shat them out, would all vanish into thin air. }:) But, you didn't hear that from me.

Mrsbmckee's picture

Submitted by Mrsbmckee on Mon, 06/18/2012 - 7:34pm

You are not wrong I can honestly say that I HATE my stepkids and their mom. I may be a bad person for saying that but they are awful! Unfortunately my Dh thinks he needs to baby skids because they are not around very often. I dread it when they are here and I am angry when I have to see them! I had a son with my DH and that is the only thing that has kept me in it this long. Things are getting better because I am trying to stop caring. If I don't have to see them or be involved in there life more than once per week then I guess I can suck it up for the sake of my son. I need to be happy and so do you . If you can't do it with this man and his drama get out now and find someone that is kidless. Step parenting sucks!!

ashleysexymama1's picture

Submitted by ashleysexymama1 on Thu, 06/21/2012 - 8:18pm

You are not a bad person I too HATE my sk and like you me and my hubby have a son. he too feels like he need's to baby his kids. They live with us he needs to get threw his big ass haed they are not BABY's no more. it sucks asshole

byebyebirdie's picture

Submitted by byebyebirdie on Mon, 06/18/2012 - 8:31pm

Maybe we are all wrong for disliking our Skids but I just don't care anymore, I dislike mine and truthfully shes not a bad kid but because she sits on such a high pedestal I can not get close. You r damned if you do damned if you don't. So I just don't do anything anymore. I used to do and try a lot it really don't work!

mysuesue's picture

Submitted by mysuesue on Thu, 06/21/2012 - 8:14pm

I agree with the high pedestal and why do the dh's have to baby the skids because they only see him every other week....it makes me hate two weeks out of the month in my life!!

Sydsmomma's picture

Submitted by Sydsmomma on Tue, 06/19/2012 - 5:22am

I just love that there is a place to vent. I totally understand how you feel. I think if I knew then what I knew now we wouldn't be married. I really just want to cry writing this cause I have absolutly no love feelings toward my stepkids. Not that I hate them by anymeans but they are just so different than what we raise our daughter. In their mom's household it is no big deal to not shower, not brush your teeth, take pride in your apperance, and take care of your things. It just really bugs me and we've tried talking to them you know you need to take pride in your appreance, nothing unless we force them to they won't shower for days. I just honesly don't want any of there bad habbits or manners rubbing off on our child. I'm sorry if it makes me sound mean or bad, but we have tried correcting them and by 8 and 10 they are just set in there ways. They came into our lives 2 years ago, my husband had the 1st at young age and the mom moved around a bunch and wouldn't let him have anything to do with the child. Same lady uses her kid as a pawn and says if you want to see her you have to be with me. Him being young and dumb does it and sleeps with her once and 6 years later on Face Book she contacts him to say i think this may be your kid too. IT has caused alot of stress just that situation alone in our marriage. Now we deal with him thinking I hate his kids because of their mother. I honestly don't like her, but I just feel no connection with them. I dread them comeing over 2 days a week and try to make myself busy. It makes me just hate that I do that and even my friends have noticed a change in me. I always get you used to be so bubbly and outgoing what happened. Somedays I wonder if I divorced my husband would it make it better, because me not connecting with them is the only thing me fight about. I really love him and I think that would just be the easy way out. To be honest though if I knew all this ahead of time I doubt I would have ever married him. It doesn't help he has his mom commenting in his ear all the time how unfair I am and that I give our daughter so much more. Heck YES I do, she is my daghter who lives with us full time. Not to mention the SD's see me I think as compition every time I go anywhere near my husband the oldest most of all feels the need to lunge right at him. I've tried talking to them I get nothing. I know leavein my husband over all this would be the easy way out, but I just can't help but wonder like I said if I truely would be happy from less stress.