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Adult Stepchild and Vacations

JungleJane's picture

Submitted by JungleJane on Thu, 05/26/2016 - 8:57am

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Blended Family Issues

Smile

Hello,

We have three children: a 24 yr old daughter from my husband's previous marriage an adult son from my previous marriage and a little girl from our marriage to each other. The 24 yr old regularly asks for money but does not want to spend time with us as a family. We plan vacations and invite her to come along and join us and she requests the money that we would have spent on her part of the vacation to be given to her as cash. Any advice on this? Her mom is still supporting and giving her money and this is brought up to us that we should be giving her support as well.

twoviewpoints's picture

Submitted by twoviewpoints on Thu, 05/26/2016 - 9:05am

" We plan vacations and invite her to come along and join us and she requests the money that we would have spent on her part of the vacation to be given to her as cash. Any advice on this? Her mom is still supporting and giving her money and this is brought up to us that we should be giving her support as well."

:jawdrop:

She needs a self supporting job. Give her money you would have spent had she gone? That's asinine. Dad needs to tell her the entitlement ship has sailed. She can join you and share in the event or she can decline and miss out. Including the cash.

z3girl's picture

Submitted by z3girl on Thu, 05/26/2016 - 9:05am

No.

Give if you want to, don't if you don't want to. Can you picture yourself demanding money from your parent like that at that age??

I paid for SD25 to join us on a vacation this year. First and last time I will do it. DH can in the future if he wants to, but I doubt he will. BM fully supports SD25 now. SD25 is upset that DH won't "help" her so she is not entirely under BM's control, but DH said no. It's up to BM if she wants to pay for her adult child to live and party. DH chooses not to. He paid for her undergraduate degree, so now she needs to learn how to support herself as an adult. She doesn't want to, so BM gets to call the shots. Not our problem.

Teas83's picture

Submitted by Teas83 on Thu, 05/26/2016 - 9:16am

I'm appalled that your SD has the nerve to ask for the cash that would have been spent on her. What an entitled brat.

ESMOD's picture

Submitted by ESMOD on Thu, 05/26/2016 - 9:20am

:jawdrop:

"I'm sorry, we assumed you would bring your own spending money and the other costs are no different for us."

Nervy girl. I would just tell her it doesn't work that way. If she wants to come on the vacation, that's fine but otherwise, have a nice day

ESMOD's picture

Submitted by ESMOD on Thu, 05/26/2016 - 9:30am

Wow, that's hard. Unfortunately, sometimes the kids that come later when the parents are better off can get more things like this. It's sad they don't invite you even occasionally though.

AlreadyGone's picture

Submitted by AlreadyGone on Thu, 05/26/2016 - 11:12am

This is my school of thought too. Smile

Having said that.... we do go on family vacations every few years where ALL adults (skids included) pay their fair share. With my dad now gone, my SM has even joined us a couple of times.

Paying for ADULT SK's.... not a chance in hell! }:)

notsobad's picture

Submitted by notsobad on Thu, 05/26/2016 - 11:41am

Wow.

We have taken the adult skids on vacation and have had a great time. It was BM who said SD doesn't need a vacation, she needs a new car. You should put the vacation money towards that. SD was very embarrassed that BM said it.

Because our kids were close to adulthood when we met, vacationing together has brought them all closer to each other and my kids to DH and the skids to me.

Icansorelate's picture

Submitted by Icansorelate on Thu, 05/26/2016 - 3:29pm

She sounds hideous. You should start calling her "Jake from State Farm".

Seriously, the answer to her question is no.

oneoffour's picture

Submitted by oneoffour on Thu, 05/26/2016 - 7:24pm

"What a great idea. We are going to *insert country with appalling exchange rate* so your share works out to be $5:36. That is how much we would actually spend for a week on food etc. Do you want that as a check or cash?"

Self entitled brat.

hereiam's picture

Submitted by hereiam on Thu, 05/26/2016 - 7:26pm

Adult Stepchild and Vacations

Just, no.

And definitely a big NO to giving the step daughter money. Not in lieu of a vacation, not to support her grown ass.

I can't believe she even has the nerve to ask for the money you would spend on her on vacation. That is just absolutely nuts and laughable.