Evil Stepmother of Doom.. that was mine. lmao.  it was a joke... because I wasn't evil to them.

in reality .. they just called me by my name.  I think the younger called me mommy once.. kind of "trying it out".. and I just asked her to use my name instead.  Letting a SKid call you any version of mom/mama/mommy etc.. is pretty high stakes risk.. especially with a HC eXW..

I will admit there is a bit of "familiarity" using a first name.. but even though the kids were 5 and 9 at first.. it just was the best way to move forward.

My skids use a nickname based on my name, but one that no one else uses.  SD4 at age 1 couldn't say my name, and her massacred version of it stuck with both skids.

Skid addresses me by my name - I wouldn’t want her to (ever) call me “mom” or refer to me by a cutesy name.

His dad continually referred to me as mummy in messages and speaking to ss till he had no choice because he calls his mum, mummy in another language

ss would only do this in front of his cousins but he would call me aunty and his cousins caught him out on that everytime and said i am his stepmum not aunty!!

Spawn used my name to my face, and B*tch C*nt Wh*re A$$hole Tw*t with everybody else, to say she didn't like me is being polite.

Am called Cruella DeVil, according to social media and random school assignments that were left behind when she PAS'd out...

So I made it a point to do my best to live up to it...

Its just scary because what happened with me was SD started calling me Mommy around the time MIL started referring to me as Mommy to my skids, it was super uncomfortable and I just ignored them and never referred to myself as Mommy to SD and MIL.   MIL was EXPLOSIVE and BM was EXPLOSIVE and I was just not equipt to challenge them, I just went about my business with all the work of raising skids every other week, (DH had to work, BM wouldn't take them extra).  Looking back to 24 years ago, I should have defended myself on that one because SD grew up and accused me of "FORCING HER TO CALL ME MOMMY!"  I said "what!? I never forced you to call me mommy, I just never made you stop when you started doing that, i didn't want to hurt your feelings!" and she said "WELL WHATEVER!"       I have never asked MIL why she started referring to me as the skids Mommy, because she will FREAK OUT AND START CRYING.  I never understand MIL.  I can never tell when a normal  polite conversation ends in her crying and saying things that are not reality. 

so my advice to to say "I love you, but no Im not mommy."   

First name is the obvious - and only - choice for a step mom. It's a shame there isn't a word for it really.

He calls me Dad.

I call him my son.

The role became mine when his mom and I married the week before he turned 2yo.

He asked me to adopt him 20 years later. We made that happen.

We called our parents Mom & Dad/Ma'am & Sir.  If my SS had been a snarky little asshole he would have called me Mr. (Lastname).  I do not allow children to call me whatever they want.  They refer to me appropriately to my position in their lives.

The only person who chooses the title, is me.   Their parents don't, they don't.  Me. I determine how I will be addressed.

My college BFF wanted his daugther to call me Uncle (Firstname).  I stopped that.  She refers to me as Mr. (Firstname).  Every couple of years they try to invoke her calling me Uncle (Firstname).  I don't allow it.  I am an Uncle to my brother's children and to my wife's sib's children.  It is important to me to reserve that title for those children.   

I recommend that you stipulate to your Skids what they will call you.

They use my first name. However, my name has a long vowel and they use a short one. It's very irritating to me. I tried to address that years ago (25) and it was never resolved. TBH, my own nieces do the same thing. So whatev.  I'm called gramma by their kids.

 *yes3*

And I'm not exaggerating.  My SD29 has never, not once in 15 years ever uttered an address of any type towards me - not even my first name.  Not. One. Single. Time. 

She did recently write it on an invite to her own baby shower though.   The shower being held more than a 1,000 miles away that she knew I would never attend.  Gift grab, anyone?

Aunty mandy the calling me mum thing did come up with my youngest SD when we first got married but I didnt feel comfortable with it because of there BM and because I'm mum to my own 2 kids i didnt  think my own kids would want some other kid calling me mum.  Both my step daughters have always called me that. So it just comes natural to them to call me aunty mandy. Find it gives me a little bit of authority and importantance. My step granddaughter calls me nanna boo or just boo. But she only 4 doesn't really understand the whole step family situation. I've just always been there to her. So I let it slide with her. No one seems to care too much what she calls me. So it all seems to work. 

My SD has called me by a nickname she made up when she started talking since she couldn't say my name and I love it. 7 years later she still refers to me by that nickname. 

She has slipped a few times and has called me mom or mommy and we both laugh and she said "thats funny, I called you mommy" and then she addresses me by my nickname. 

I love that I have the nickname because she came up with it and it in no way disrespects her BM who is active in her life.