insesitive jerk
So this happened about a month ago but I can't get it out of my mind. I have no kids and am very undecided about whether or not I will. DH knows this is a sensitive subject for me but that doesn't stop stupid things like this.
So I came home and YSD comes up to me "We decided that we don't want to have a baby I don't need a little brother or sister" I wanted to hit her I really did. DH says isn't that "great" we don't have to worry about it. I am crying as I am typing this I can't beleive he would even bring this up to them on so many levels. I was too shocked to say anything I just walked away but I am hurt and holding it inside.
Then a week or so ago he starts calling them "OUR" kids randomly...are you going to be able to pick "OUR" kids up today? Are you making "OUR" kids lunch or me? it was by text three times in one day. When he got home I exploded they are not "OUR" kids I may never have kids of our own because you thought at 18 it was a great idea to knock up a fat bitch you knew for all of three months. There were more choice words as Iam sure you can imagine. I just can't beleive him I don't know where this is coming from on his side and I am too upset to even talk about it with him.
The want to slap her was the
The want to slap her was the reason I walked away without saying anything but now I regret not saying anything at the time.
The thing is I am not sure if I want a child or not but it will not be based on the oppinions of a 5 year old that's for sure. DH and I had been discussing it which I guess is why it was on his mind at that time.
I'm sorry to hear about your situation it must be rough.
If you want kids and he is
If you want kids and he is letting SD decide if you get to or not I'd say RUUUN!
Thank you very much you made
Thank you very much you made me laugh a little and I needed that. It is true I would never choose this children as my own they are good kids don't get me wrong but they don't know things my own children would know at their ages they are taken places I would not take my kids haven't been taken other places my own children would have.
These men make bad choices on who to have these kids with then try to recreate history I think I made it pretty clear though that it is not to be said again.
Consider yourself lucky that
Consider yourself lucky that you DON'T have kids with this blithering idiot and RUN!!!
I can't stand it when Chef Boyardumb refers to my grown bios as "the kids" and he calls himself "the father!"
Hell he was completely BALL-LESS when it came to parenting his own children. Zilch, zippo, nada! I used to somewhat regret that I didn't have children with him but looking back on it all now, Chef Boyardumb is a TERRIBLE parent (as is the BM) and should have been fixed from BIRTH. Your "man" has given SD "A.S.S." Adult Spousal Status. Imminent danger ahead!!
Again, RUN LIKE THE WIND!!
DH has said during
DH has said during conversations that he is as undecided as I am. He says that he already gets a little jealous over the little time that I spend taking care of skids as he doesn't feel that he sees me enough already. So he might resent another child in the home that is completly dependent on me. But on the other side he literally gets no say in how skids are raised they are at a horrible school he don't agree with and about to go to their third in three years living a lifestyle he doesn't agree with so on his otherside he thinks it may be nice to raise something and actually put his "stamp" on it.
The "isn't it Great" I think was a ill thought out attempt to take "pressure" off of me thinking that they aren't that interested isn't it great that we won't disapoint them if you don't have one.
If it ever comes up again I will be prepared and she will get a verbal slap!
Why does he not take care of
Why does he not take care of his own kids when they are there?
Men usually use the term "our kids" because they want their partner to take on some or all of the responsibility for said kids.
I don't think I would want to have a kid with someone who just wants something to put his "stamp" on.
Step-mothers die or become
Step-mothers die or become incapacitated. Some even go insane - imagine that? Don't marry a guy with children as YOU could end up being the only Mama they know and boy does that bring problems with you reminding them of their REAL Mama and you aren't they're REAL Mama and YOU can't tell me what to do and YOU hating the whole thing.
Find a guy without children. Please.
They have a Mama and soon
They have a Mama and soon they will be teenagers and their visits will become few and far in between I am looking forward to that day. When and if that becomes a problem they know where the door is isn't it better to be able to send back a hormonal teenager than be stuck living miserably with your own horrible teenage spawn
This made me tear up. I'm so
This made me tear up. I'm so sorry. I can relate though. My SO doesn't want any because 'he has his two'. How is that right? It is not my fault that he made bad life choices at a young age and I didn't. This is not a matter for his children to decide. They are not the ones to raise your child and are not always going to be there. I love my SS dearly and know that if I am unfortunate and unable to have a bio child that I will still have him, but with that being said, I am often reminded that he is not mine. I care for him primarily and I'm very involved in every part of his life, but he is exposed to things I know I would not expose my child to, there are still things that I am not able to make decisions about. We have to schedule things when he is there... it's not that he always gets to be a part of things we want him to be because he is at his BM's. And if my SO and I fight... like the night that brought me to this site... then I am often reminded that he is not my kid. Any other time its okay for me to claim him.
I think my SS would be a great big brother too. Now on the other hand, his daughter is the devil. Not only would she not want us to have a child, but I would fear her around my bio. She is mean to the siblings she has now, has no respect for her dad and hates me. What makes me think she would be any different to My child???? I desperately want a child. I feel it deep inside of me, but she is the true reason I still cry over this subject.
Having a child is a huge decision that only you and your SO should be involved in making. You cannot let the outside influence you (easier said than done) because in the end it is yours and your SO's child not anyone else's... plus you will feel resentment.
Good luck and I'm sorry this was thrown in your face so coldly.
"Well, thats too bad because
"Well, thats too bad because I just found out today that I am pregnant" then let that simmer for a long while.
I'll bet anything your
I'll bet anything your husband manipulated his daughter into telling you HE doesn't want anymore children.
I don't believe for a second he was open to having another kid, but changed his mind because a 5 year old said no. That whole we decided thing just seems very odd to me.