BM announced she is moving "soon" (won't give us a firm date), and says she is taking the kids. She told SS that he can choose which parent to live with (which is a lie), and that if he doesn't choose her, he will never see her again for the rest of his life.  SS was torn apart by having to make this choice.  After weeks of consideration, BF decided to spare his son the stress of feeling he had to make that choice and agreed to let BM take the kids when she moves.  

BF and kids are all upset, which is completely understandable and I empathize with them.  My parents divorced when I was 3, so I understand the custody stressors quite well.  Though neither of my parents ever threatened to choose them or never see them again, so I was lucky.  

Because BF agreed to let the kids move, when we have the kids it's just a free for all.  He wants to keep everything peaceful and fun, which is understandable to an extent.  Because of covid, kids are out of school, BF isn't working and is home all day, and I am working from home - 40 hour weeks.  So I am the only one in the house working 8 to 5.  The problem is that BF refuses to set rules and issue consequences for poor behaviors.  It's a free for all.  Yelling, screaming, throwing baseballs in the house, couch cushions on the floor, water guns in the house, anything goes.  I work in the office with the door closed, go to the kitchen for lunch, back to the office until 5.  The three of them are just running around doing anything and the house is a disaster.  I clean, I make dinner, I clean again, I go to bed, I get up, I go to work at 8, I work in the office until 5, and when I leave the office -  the house is a disaster, again.  EVERY. SINGLE. DAY.  and if I ask the kids to help clean up, I'm a monster.  And if I ask BF to clean up I should be more understanding that they need quality time together before they move and I need to let it go bc this is temporary, soon we will only see the kids every other holiday and in the summer, so why does this matter?  And not much changes on the days when kids are at BM's.   When it's just BF and I,  BF is sad and withdrawn,  sleeps a lot, doesn't engage in conversation, doesn't  help with the house at all.  We  have become nothing more than roommates over the past 6 weeks, we don't talk, we don't spend quality time together, can't go on a date bc nothing is open.  He doesn't try and won't listen.  I try to tell him I'm feeling left behind and taken for granted, and he just sleeps.  i get that this This situation isn't completely about me, but I do matter too. This  is SO different than our relationship was even 7 weeks ago.  We've been together 3 years and it's typically been a very healthy, happy relationship. I know that the changes are all because of the move and I have really REALLY tried to be here for them, but they don't seem to want me here unless it's to cook.  I keep reminding myself that one day things will be back to normal and we will have our healthy relationship back.  But the longer this continues, the harder it is to believe we will ever be back to normal again.  And BM only makes it worse because she will only say she is moving soon but refuses to give a firm moving date or even a general date range.  She could draw this out for 6 more months for all we know.