I just want to share my story. I've been with my fiance for 3 years, we've been engaged for a little over a year.

Before I met my fiance he had a one night stand with BM, she claimed she was on birth control and his condom broke. OOPS. so he takes her into his home and provides for her, picking up 3 extra jobs to pay her bills, his bills, and set up a nursery. They found traces of drugs in her system during early pregnancy but through tests she didn't have them in her system at the end of the pregnancy. A few months after the birth BM starts doing drugs again in the house with SD in the room and that she's bring other guys into the house. My fiance also finds $3000 used on his credit card and his bank account was cashed out (the local gas station knowing they were living together assumed they were married and cashed his checks for her.) I will repeat... they were never a couple- I've been told this by pretty much the entire family. He kicks her out, she takes SD but brings SD over often enough for him to see her. Cops were called but nothing came of it.

Fast forward, I meet fiance. He's funny, smart, works hard, not super romantic but really caring, very courteous..... and a bit rough around the edges- hazard of his job I guess (CNC Machining) and he has a almost 2 year old daughter. Uh oh... I never wanted to date a guy with kids- but alas I get yelled at by friends for hopping from one blind date to the next because I'm picky and go, what the heck- I'll just give this guy a chance. 3 months later I'm positive I want him to stick around- he's treated me better than men in the past and he's responsible. So now BM knows I'm around. He wants his daughter to meet me. BM starts calling when I'm around, showing up when I'm not, without SD. BM starts calling me telling me she's had sex with him and all these other nasty things. You could just tell, maybe it's because I've dealt with an excess of jealous ex's.... and have had jealous feeling of my own in the past, but I could just tell she was making shit up. I let it go. Told fiance everything, and he tried to make up for it, apologized, yelled at her, and she always admitted it was because she wanted to be a family.

Well within 2 months that stops... then she starts with-holding custody. Since when he kicked her out the court figured they could make their own schedule, he'd just have to pay child support, they had no written proof of a placement schedule. So he took her to court for custody. Court denied him primary and gave him a better schedule. So now I finally get to meet my SD. Sweetest child, super friendly, a lot of fun, not very independent when it came to playing and didn't have the patience for learning.

BM then takes SD out of state for 6 weeks without our knowledge, returning SD for visits on time- first time BM has never argued about drop off time or pick up time and came all the way to our place. She was very diligent and fiance thought maybe BM's new BF was a good influence. Well then we get the call from BM's Mom to pick up SD, BM is dealing with child services. We were never contacted. We contact the other states child services to find out whats going on. BF who turned out to be a sexual offender, ratted our BM for drugs, neglect, medical neglect, and child safety. We gather our information, reports, everything, take it to child services here who says we have to take it to court. We take it to court- we get denied because it was out of state and our state does not acknowledge what happened in that state. Oh for the love of.... But we thought we did good because we got a GAL. Well that turned to a bust. Cops stated frequenting our home. We'd get them called on us for child abuse, sexual abuse, kidnapping, the list goes on. After I got them called on me for child abuse- this was the 4th time I had them called on me specifically and had to be removed from the premise and stay with family for a week where I couldn't be near SD during investigation. Well since it was the 4th time, child services and the town police sat me down to tell me my rights in these sorts of harassment cases- if it happened again I could file for false accusation. Thank god. I was about at my wits end. They also informed BM of this- it hasn't happened to me specifically since.

Well then we had to deal with GAL. BM wouldn't pay her half so Fiance fronted her half of the bill to get the ball rolling. Then we get a call from GAL for the meeting, GAL INSISTS I come because she has questions about my credibility. -_-' So I go. Instead of talking about SD, GAL spend the entire first hour attacking me for things BM claimed I did, said or was. A few of my favorites- I'm a heroine addict, plucky coming from the drug addict herself, I'm also a child-stealer.... I'm pretty sure that isn't even a real phrase, but the premise behind it is that I am only dating fiance for his kid because I want to take over being the mother. Then there was the sexual abuse claim which with backing of the police and child services we could easily shut down. Next she said I wasn't being fair to BM because my family and I wouldn't add her on Facebook. I had this, you're kidding me right?!?! moment. After the crap she's pulled why in the world would I add her to my facebook?! The GAL told me I had 3 months to add her or she'd drop the case. Fiance brought up complaints about potty training and how BM just puts diaper back on at home, about education and his safety concerns about BM. GAL brushed them off and said the problem was me not BM. Well then after 2 more meetings we don't hear from GAL for 6 months. We contact the judge, who contacts GAL and finds out GAL has been barred from court. Our fee's were returned to us and case was closed and inconclusive with BM retaining primary custody in the joint custody case.

Then we only received half our payment. Fiance called to ask about it and they said we should have received the full payment back and they would look into it. Within a week of this we find out through SD that mom was in the hospital with police and had to go to jail. SD's tale was pretty dramatic. We call BM, who explained it was nothing. Then we get a call from the county police in her county. BM sent them to us to look for payment of her jail bond. Fiance drives the 3 hours up there to get reports and contact child services. This is weeks after the actual incident happened. We find out the whole story. BM was under the influence of Valium, coke and some other narcotics, in her car passed out with the pills in a bag in the front seat with SD in the back seat unbuckled and not in a booster with the car running. Lovely, DUI. We contact Child services questioning why they never contacted us or why there was no pending case against her. We brought up what happened in the previous state and her past issues with the police in the month following the closing of the custody case. They finally agreed they were in the wrong and would look into it. We took it to court again! This time the judge let it go with her only having to go to a weekly rehab meeting, a parenting class and supervised primary custody for 6 months. -_-'

Since then, BM has been having SD tell us things like: I can't be your friend because I'm mommy friend, I want mommy and daddy to live together like they love each other, so and so are my brother and sister (BM's bf's skids who are in his custody), Mommy is getting married like you and daddy- she says her wedding is going to be better, I can't love you- I can only like you, I can't play that with you because that's what mommy and me play and she wouldn't like that.

My SD will be 5 in a week, she's not a stupid kid- she listens too, selective listening but mostly she listens when you really don't want her to- like most children lol. She's very confused, she tells us she wants to be our friend and that she really does love us but mommy says she can't love us. When she gets to our house it's nothing but tantrums, demands and silent pouts. This goes on for 2 days. Our house is different, at BM's grandma is there all the time, grandma lets her do whatever she wants, both BM and grandma carry her everywhere, give her plenty of attention and when she screams- they give her exactly what she wants if not more. Our house that doesn't fly. She tries it for the first 2 days. Says nothing about missing mom, just that she wants us to do things and buy things for her. Then things settle down. BM calls pretty much every night but sometimes she won't call at all, other times she'll call and just want to scream at me and fiance, then she does the, call, text, call call call, scream, call call text text text text all in one day. When she does call during the day she greatly upsets SD and makes her cry by repeating how much she must miss mommy- then telling her about a present she bought her. She refuses to let the little girl just have a good happy time!

The tantrums are what get to me- they force me to have no control over my life at that time. I can't enforce discipline because BM said she doesn't believe in time outs, even if I call them calm down time. She doesn't like when I work on homework or book work with SD, and she hates even more if we take her to the zoo, museum etc. She's even thrown fits about her going to family outings with my family or fiances family. Sometimes she dumps SD on us early, sometimes she tries to refuse to bring her to us. Other times she won't hand SD over unless we drive 3 hours to meet at her house and will only allow fiance in. She tells her daughter it's bad to tell me or daddy about her feelings because we would think she's stupid and a baby (we don't!)

I've given up on talking to BM- she's been nothing but horrible and selfish towards me and never wants to talk about SD with me- only wants to complain about work, her BF and my fiance and how horrible her life is.

talk about jealous much.....

But yet- she still does what she does and gets away with it. Fiance is super supportive of me and house is one giant unified front that includes his parents and brother and my parents and siblings. We aren't the most touchy feely family but we back each other up pretty well. We are all on the same page and everything that happens is shared between everyone. It's the only saving grace to my relationship- the only thing that makes me stay sane, if my fiance and the families didn't provide back up and support- I would have been out of there long ago.

Let's put it this way- I've been feeling depressed, angry and completely out of control lately. My house is pure chaos- I can't pick up fast enough and BM throws a fit every time we enforce chores (which we do but SD reminds us all the time that BM doesn't like that) I go to school, work full time and take care of SD in the evening. It's time consuming and exhausting. We get a date night once every 2 weeks and are on a EOW schedule for the summer. School will bring EWE schedule.

On top of this- BM continuously asks us for money. She get as much child support as we pay in payments for our home.... It's ridiculous that she should have the audacity to ask for more, and she throws a fit everytime we say no saying that SD will starve!!! It's come to the point where we've actually provided fruit and veggies for SD for the week- BM threw a fit because we wouldn't trust her with money. She's thrown a fit about the fact that we won't give her the account info to my netflix as well. Another fun one was when her car was breaking down and she said we had to pay for it or we wouldn't get SD. She shut up about money after we contacted a lawyer. Now it's all about how we are trying to ruin her daughters life by splitting them up and how we are horrible people.... and of course I'm the evil one.

Soooo anyone else have any horror stories?!?!?!