The short: bm moved hours away over 3 years ago (bonus for us, crappy for ss). She wanted to attend beauty school and make a better life for herself. She moved back in with her parents, has no responsibility, and is a habitual liar. She lies about working, CS, covered up being pregnant with #2 for 6 months before abandoning her, etc. Now she has child abuse allegations on #2, she does drug in front of ss, and over all is a bad influence. Ss lives with us FULLTIME. We have had 10 court cases, years of counseling, and have tried numerous times to co parent. Ss complains that bm is never around during her once a month visitation, he has to beg for attention, constant arguing with the rents, overall just a miserable environment. After years of raising ss by ourselves and waiting on bm to uphold her end of the deal, we decided to move closer to family. (Awesome for us, crappy for ss). It really does take a village. During our last court case the GAL stated that everything was fine and he needed more visitation with Bm. Way to court system, we were upset and at the very most felt as unsafe. Dh and bm have tried co parenting, we have had speakerphone convos trying to help resolve difficulties. These normally ended up in bm saying ss was lying and ss crying wondering how she could be so hurtful. So needless to say that ended.

Fast forward to present day: ss11 is super smart, like too smart. His grades suck. Of course there is cause for concern. He would say it was because of what was going on. We have a very open line of communication in our house. (Pc of course) meaning ss can speak openly about his grievances , even if it is with us, and we work to try to figure things out. So, it has come to our attention that ss has been lying this whole time! That he has been telling bm that I am mean to him, he is scared of dh, that we don't take care of him, and the list goes on. I am so pissed. We have honestly been doing everything we know how to make sure he has a good life. He has also been making up the stuff about his bm! Outside of the stuff that she lies about to cover her own self. She spends ample time with him! Wtf?! Seriously, I get that kids lie, but this kid didn't show one ounce of remorse when we busted him! He can surely whip up tears about how awful things are up there tho'...?! I am seriously concerned. Again, I get that kids lie, but this seems extreme unless I am just being overly sensitive... We are sending him to a phycologist soon, just wish we wouldn't have wasted so much time, money, effort on his bs! Ugh! Input? Opinions? I get that bm and dh don't have the best line of communication BUT she isn't actually adding communication badges to her her mother of the year scout sash either. We have tried. It is hard not to be upset and just chalk it up as "all kids do this". He is super smart and knew it would make people angry, knew that he was lying as he was crying and saying the just wanted the fighting to stop, etc. 36 hours ago I would have went with "good kid, bad hand" now I just don't know what to think! It took me so much to step up to the plate and totally engage. Sorry, in my feelings. Thanks ahead of time for reading this novel. Posted a few days ago in another forum and was so brief I felt as tho' I had to keep defending myself until I finally have enough facts that the judging stopped and advice started.