Yesterday evening DH & I were on the phone with YSD

She wants me to host a bridal party dinner (that's a whole other post) but in the meantime, we were talking about the wedding - how excited we are etc.. and I joke with her that DH is nervous about walking her down the aisle and so on, and then she says "Oh, I do have something else for Dad to do"

DH had wandered out of the living room so I said "hold on, I'll take the phone to your Dad so you can ask him"

DH takes the phone (it's on speaker) and she asks him if he is going to speak at her wedding.

I was a little surprised and hurt that this request was directed only at DH

I say that because this is the SD who claims to love me so much, refers to me has her 'other mother' sent me huge bouquet of flowers for Mother's Day and just finished requesting I hold a bridal party dinner for her

Not that I had planned to speak at her wedding, nor felt it was my place, but I guess it was just the way she automatically asked DH only I initially felt hurt

Just as I was just brushing that off and telling myself I'm being too sensitive and what's the big deal is she only wants DH to speak, she then add's "Just wasn't sure if you were planning to speak alone Dad, or with Disillusioned, but Mom wants to speak too...." and so on

I got the distinct impression she wanted DH & BM to go up together to speak, and only them

Again, I told myself that is her right and it's not necessarily a put-down to me, she simply wants her parents to speak on her wedding day. What's wrong with that?

Anyway, DH confirmed he was definitely speaking but was humming and hawing about whether with me or not so SD says that if he is going up alone BM will and if he's going up with me then BM will go up with SF, so she needs to know

DH says he will probably go up alone but what is my opinion

So, I said it's really what SD wants. If she wants her parents to go up separately that's fine, if she would like to include the step-parents that's great too, and even if she wants her parents only and to go up together well, it's her day and about her and I think basically that everyone needs to suck it up

DH immediately said there was no way he was getting up to speak with BM, and that he would let YSD know

Although I said what I said (which I think was too much as it is - but DH did ask!) and tried to mean it and think of things from YSD's perspective, I still have to admit I feel hurt. I know that's unreasonable and YSD probably meant no harm, but for some reason it still upset me

And, just the thought of DH and BM getting up to speak together (and thinking BM may well have been behind this one just like some of the other incidents so far this year) just makes me cringe

What do you ladies think?