Will she ever accept the fact that we are going to marry?
Johnny and I just got engaged. We've been seeing each other for over two years. We met at a Narcotice Anonymous meeting. We are both recovering addicts with years of clean time. His daughter was fine with us dating until we got engaged. Now she has it in for me and is keeping Johnny from his grandson because of our engagement. She says her world is falling apart because of this engagement. I'm pretty sure she wants her mom and dad back together as most kids do. The thing is that his ex-wife threw him out and filed for divorce just after Johnny got out of the hospital from a suicide attempt. This was the last time he used drugs. When they got home from the hospital his wife had already packed his bags and told him to leave and that she didn't love him anymore. She has maintain all this time that she no longer was in love with him. After he told his daughter we were engaged his ex called and screamed at him "how could you do this to me? I am still in love with you!" So I think that is why the daughter has a problem with us being engaged. The thing is, Johnny tried for a very long time to get her to take him back. At one point during our relationship I knew he was still hung up on her and I told him he needed to go talk to her and ask her if there was any chance of them getting back together. He didn't want to but he did what I asked. I didn't want him to wonder for the rest of his life "what if". She told him there wasn't a chance in hell that she would ever take him back. So he got on with his life and has fallen in love with me and I with him. We have the most beautiful and honest relationship we've ever had. But even knowing all of this his daughter is still against us getting married. She is getting married Oct. 23 and says that we are "stealing the limelight" from her. We are not having a wedding. We are getting married in the courthouse! His sons are happy for us. I just wish I knew what to do about his daughter. I don't want her to never let Johnny see his grandson and future grandchildren because of me. I really want to yell at her to grow up and be happy that her dad has found happiness again. I don't know what to do. Does anyone have any suggestions for me? :?
Your SD and her BM are
Your SD and her BM are manipulative people. Anyone with modicum of intelligence knows that your marriage has nothing to do with SD's life falling a part.
BM is just suffering through having to deal with no longer having your DH to string along. My own XW found renewed interest in me whe she realized I was not pining away for her to take me back and that I had started dating the day after she told me she wanted a divorce. She would call me to invite me to lunch, ask me back to her place for nooners, etc.... She was not interested in actually reconciling but wanted me at her beck and call and for sure not dating any one else.
My SS's BioDad (the SpermIdiot) also wanted nothing to do with my bride or our son (my SS) until he heard that she was dating someone. Then he could not live without her or their son and cried to SpermGrandMa how much he missed his "wife" (they were never married) and their kid. That started 16+ years of SpermClan drama.
So, don't hold your breath that your SD or BM ever accept your marriage to your DH. They likely won't. Which IMHO should make absolutely no difference to you or your marriage. Your DH will hurt because of it but neither of you should cater to the manipulations of SD or BM.
IMHO of course.
Best regards,