You are here

Update

whatamess's picture

Submitted by whatamess on Wed, 07/02/2014 - 8:48am

Forums: 
Adult Stepchildren

I spent the night in a hotel last night and am going to tonight as well. After he refused to go to more counseling and refused to talk to me about what was going on and then when I came home one night, he acted very shitty and slept in the spare bedroom, I thought a break was in order. I left him a note since talking to him feels futile. In a loving but direct way I told him I wanted this to work but the ball is in his court. I can't get an appt with my therapist for two weeks so I'm on my own figuring this out. Positive energy/prayers much appreciated. I'm very scared about what's going to happen.

sandye21's picture

Submitted by sandye21 on Wed, 07/02/2014 - 9:47am

Sending positive energy your way, whatamess. I am very sorry you have to wait two weeks to see the therapist - especially with recent events. Right mow it is very scary but ask yourself what you deserve in this marriage. Do you want to continue a life with a mate who does not want to communicate or make a joined effort with you to work things out? Who sleeps in another bedroom when he knows this hurts you - to get his way? I'm glad you told him the ball is in his court. That means the responsibility to heal the relationship is on him. If he fails to act on it, he is not worth staying with. How long were you together? Good luck to you, Sweetie! (((HUGS)))

whatamess's picture

Submitted by whatamess on Wed, 07/02/2014 - 10:31am

We've been together almost 13 years, married for 6 of them. What you say is exactly what i keep trying to remind myself. Thank you.

mylife10's picture

Submitted by mylife10 on Wed, 07/02/2014 - 10:13am

I am sending you lots and lost of positive energy and lost of Good thoughts!
I wish you the very best! You should stand your ground and fight for what you feel is right! Communication is key in every relationship. Its very selfish what he is doing. If he wont communicate with you , then you have a hard decision to make. I wish you the very very best! Positivity and prayers to you!!!

misSTEP's picture

Submitted by misSTEP on Wed, 07/02/2014 - 12:20pm

Please try not to be scared. Focus on what you DESERVE. You have been together many years. But that NEVER means that you have to accept bad treatment just because.

20YearsAsAStep-Mom's picture

Submitted by 20YearsAsAStep-Mom on Thu, 07/03/2014 - 3:00pm

it sounds like the pendulum has swung all the way. It has to change direction. I hope he can see the error in his ways and beg you too let him join you in counseling.

If not, continue to go to counseling and figure out what you can live with.
Big hugs. Take care of yourself.

K.C.'s picture

Submitted by K.C. on Thu, 07/03/2014 - 3:07pm

I agree with everyone else - please focus on what you DESERVE in this marriage. It can't be just what one person wants. I struggled with this for the last 13 years. Kids are grown and out but they are still there and cause drama even if it is only a phone call or a FB comment.

You only have one life to live. I am learning this and it's actually a good feeling! The way I see it, If Nothing Changes, Nothing Changes Smile So I am making some changes!

Hang in there, whatever happens is supposed to happen and as crappy as it is now, something good will come from all of this.