LOL I asked that exact thing, how difficult can it be? She likes to play the helpless female card ever since she got divorced. She just wants attention. She can't get it from any other man. Her dad is the only man that WILL come over, out of obligation.

DH's relatives asked if SD has started dating anyone yet (it's been 2 1/2 years since her divorce). He said there were two men SD was interested in at work, but neither of them wanted to date her. I'm not surprised.

That's how I see it. It's a jealous attempt to steal some of our peaceful time together.

I can't turn my phone off due to the fact that my elderly mother has Life Alert and I am the first point of contact, should anything happen to her. Also, we have houses that we rent out and one of our tenants had a water heater that went out while we were gone and that had to be handled by phone. We have to be available, but only in the case of emergencies.

I considered not telling DH about her text message at all, and I did wait until the next morning to tell him, so as to not interrupt our first night there. I'm sure she would have raised cane if I didn't relay the message.

Thanks skeeter. I feel like she hunts us down.

She has a couple of divorced girlfriends from work, but she has an annoying personality that men don't care for. She talks too much, too fast, too squeaky.

You hit the nail on the head with the term emotional blackmail.

I'm sure that would infuriate her, she feels she has an inalienable right to talk to him whenever she so desires. No matter how late, how often, or how far away DH may be.

I guess I should be glad that she's not dropping by in person unannounced anymore. It took a long time to accomplish that boundary.

For the sake of my relationship with DH, I have to maintain a cordial relationship with his daughter.

If I block her (as much as I'd like to) that's like unfriending her on facebook, it means our relationship is over, even though it's a strained one. My grievances with her have to be suffered in silence.

I've always sensed that she resents me and is possessive of her dad.

I always wished that her and I could be friends on some level, but she continues to do things that are passive-agressive.

While I won't go as far as to block her, I will delete any message that comes through on our vacation. I wonder if I can program an automatic "on vacation" message into my phone that just applies to her number. That way she won't take it personally.

We just booked our winter vacation, where we always go someplace warm in the month of February. A cruise.

Last February, she texted me the day we set sail with the message "Enjoy your free cruise" . I thought it was an advertisement, until I figured out it came from her phone number. That's the first time ever she texted me.

Well, you're totally off the mark on this one because first of all, my DH has not had multiple marriages. He was a widower when I met him, married over 30 years to his first wife, and according to our faith our marriage is the second most important relationship, after the one we have with God. So, that old "blood is thicker" adage has never applied.

If you want to know what my father was like, he and my mom enjoyed a wonderful marriage (over 50 years) until the day he died. Thank you for asking. I have never been dependent on him for anything since I was 18 years old. I have never asked him to fix things in my houses, never disturbed him while he was on vacation. I called first before coming to visit them. Just natural common courtesy.

Your relationship is supposed to change when you're an adult. My SD doesn't see that, and she doesn't respect boundaries. Case in point, she calls her dad by his first name. I would never do that with my own dad. Now tell me she's the one that behaves normally? :O I never wanted to engage my own dad in activities that didn't include the whole family, never asked him to take me out to dinner, take me to concerts, take me to walk around festivals. I would challenge anyone on here that would dare to suggest that this is normal behavior.

In our case, with a new wife in the picture (me), I would think an adult daughter would be even more careful not to butt into someone's household when it's not even their mom.

They like to deliver bad news. I noticed that. Burst his happy bubble when he's on vacation. She seems threatened by the fact that DH is happy with his life now. A life that is more fun than the one he had with his first wife is not supposed to happen, I guess.

Yes, and she wants to drag us with her. I know counselors always advise people to hang around with positive people, not ones that drag you down. DH's daughter, all she does is drag people down every chance she gets. I don't know what to do. I know I'm supposed to let DH handle it, but I'm his wife and have to cope with the fallout of SD's mood swings.

She saw a picture yesterday of DH on the lake, smiling holding the fish he caught. That made her jealous, she thinks every fishing trip is supposed to include her. Well, I'm sorry but we have plenty of friends that like to fish too and are still waiting for an invite from us. She doesn't own that hobby of his, though I'm sure she has fond memories of doing that with her dad when she was a kid.

You can tell I've had a sunday with SD, when I'm posting prolifically monday morning.

Somehow when I spent all day with her and doing things for her yesterday, and she walks out without even saying goodbye or thank you, it kind of puts a damper on my enthusiasm for having her over. But, I know I will, for the sake of DH.

Privacy and respect of boundaries is all I need from SD34. That's not too much to ask.

We are annoyed and frustrated with her, don't hate her. Both DH and I. He saw how hard I worked to make a fun day for his kids and grandkids two days ago and SD walked out without saying goodbye or thank you to me. He's embarrassed by her behavior and wishes that she would stop acting like a baby and start behaving like a well-adjusted adult, self-sufficient pro-active in her life. He also wanted her to move out two years ago, when she was living in our basement, hampering our newly married life.

Are you really a SM on here to vent, or rather a troll playing devil's advocate, or possibly a SD that has wandered onto this site that has an ax to grind?

DH and I are both compassionate and loving people, believers. That doesn't mean we can't get annoyed and frustrated with her behavior. We're human too. The difference is, I'm not threatening to ban her from the house, hurl profanity at her, or giving up on the whole situation (disengaging or divorcing). I want us to find a solution.

She's 34 years old. A grown middle aged woman with a full time job and owns her own home in a nice neighborhood. What danger is she in? That's ridiculous. She is able to hold down a job, so she isn't depressed to the point of being unfunctional. She's dysfunctional, but not unfunctional. DH and I have both made suggestions but we can't make the horse drink.

Let me give you this illustration. A telemarketer calls when we're having dinner. After we've already asked to be put on the do not call list? He doesn't care that it's the dinner hour, he's only concerned about his making a sale. Are we forced to answer because it would be "unchristian" not to? You see where I'm going with this. We have a right to our privacy and peaceful enjoyment of our own home.

She's not crying for help, she's whining for attention because she's inbetween boyfriends. Well, we have plenty of other people that actually need help. My mother, elderly, losing her eyesight and her hearing, can't drive anymore. SHE needs my help. Children that are starving in this world and don't know where their next meal is coming from. THEY need our help, and we do go volunteer our time to package meals for them. I've already suggested SD reach out to the less fortunate and focus on helping those that are genuinely in need.

Like I said in my previous post, she is functioning in her job. She has jealousy issues, but is not and has never been contemplating anything of the sort. That's quite a leap you took. Again, you are making absurd assumptions. Unwanted phone calls is what I am talking about, pestering in nature. Especially during dinner. You don't think that's wrong? I have nothing more to say to you, in that case.

Thank you! I agree, her divorce is not our fault, and we are not responsible (and can't) fix it for her.

We have given her so much helpful advice but we can't feel sorry for someone that rejects that advice and prefers to wallow and be a busybody in other people's households.

She has a classic case of sibling rivalry, only it's directed at me. She's also jealous of her brother's wife, I can tell when they are together. Her brother avoids her, her sister-in-law is very cool to her.

The sneaky way she maneuvered herself into our household, while we were on vacation probably ruined my impression of her from the get-go.

DH, being the sweetheart that he is, is the only person that she does get along with. I can understand her wishing she had married someone just like him. I think he's one of a kind though.

I appreciate that notasm.

I am willing to listen and consider other people's point of view, but you're right, she may be a troll.

Yeah, I can see why.

They really don't call to just chat but deliberately call to cause drama.

SD's need to call their divorced, lonely girlfriends. They can have a pity party together. Maybe I'll set up a playdate for her with some other divorced women.

Because she always asks nosy questions and DH feels obliged to answer them.

I told DH it is perfectly OK for him to be vague about our plans. Especially if she is feeling left out, why make her feel worse?

I hate the fact that she feels entitled to any news about our social life.

I guess I prefer to keep her in the dark about our phones. She can just wonder what's going on.

We always do have the phone turned on for camping road trips for the navigation feature.

I think I solved the problem of receiving any future text messages because I totally ignored her last text of the artwork and didn't show it to DH either. She'll see that the access road to our private life ends in my hand.

Thank you Annith. I appreciate that, and you are absolutely right. Why does it land in my lap, I don't know. I guess because we are the ones buying the tickets, and when we take her out to dinner, the check is on us.
She has some low paying clerical job.

The last concert she suggested, was Chris Daughtry. Not my cup of tea.

In terms of her biological clock ticking, she's at the doorstep of over-the-hill. Single and approaching 35, when one's fertility drops off dramatically. That's a lot of what is depressing her.

SD had major marital problems for almost the entire 12 years she was married. Her ex never wanted children with her, but then the first thing he does when he leaves SD is have a baby with another woman.

When I was 34, I had two children in elementary school and my own startup business full-time. It's definitely not young adulthood anymore.