SD is taking advantage of me and her father

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My SD23 has been out of college for 2 years and came to live with us. She lives in the basement apartment ( her own bathroom and kitchen) she still comes up to cook because she doesn't like to clean and leaves the mess for me also if her bathtub gets clogged ( due to her not using the hair catcher I bought) she will come upstairs to shower. My dishes end up down stairs and she has thrown them away instead of washing them, I seen them in the garbage. My husband won't do anything. Recently SD boyfriend has wrecked his CA, he doesn't live with us he lives with his parents and she has asked to borrow our other car. My husband travels for a living so she thinks that because I don't work that I can just get him to the airport and use his car while her bf uses the other car. Oh yea they were going to get there own place but her bf wrecked his car and got fired all in the same week! I'm over it!

There are 2 rules clean up

There are 2 rules clean up after yourself and her cat is not allowed upstairs due to the cat ruining my leather furniture so when I leave she does it anyway, I have my daughter that lives an hour away from me and has just had my granddaughter so I go spend time with her and when I come back there's holes in my furniture and a mess for me to clean, I complain and she says that I'm banking her to the basement and that she forgot to clean and that's good enough for my husband.

Next time your DH leaves for

Next time your DH leaves for a trip evict her lazy ass.

Does the basement have it's

Does the basement have it's own outside door? If so, get a deadbolt and lock her off from access to the upper portions of the house.

If you can't lock her out, then rules need to be enforced. Can't follow the rule? Find another place to call home.

If your husband is not

If your husband is not willing to have a voice with what is unacceptable behavior from his daughter, then you have to speak up. Call her on the carpet for everything she does or doesn't do that doesn't sit well with you. Let her know what is acceptable and that she will have to find a new place to live if she doesn't respect you or your home.

I have tried all of these and

I have tried all of these and yes she has her own entrance, when we bought the place ( 2 years ago right before we picked her up from college) I knew that this was going to be a problem so I wanted a place with a basement and we installed the kitchen and bathroom for this reason. U told her that I wasn't going to let her upstairs unless we're home and she went crying to daddy, she said that I was trying to lick her down in the basement of course him and I got into it. I have left numerous times only to come back. Ohhh I wouldn't dare kick her out, not princess

She is 23, an adult. Make a

She is 23, an adult. Make a list of things you want changed and show it to DH, get him on board. Then present it to SD along with the fact that if she breaks the rules, she will have to move out immediately. I would put a deadline for her to get her own place in the list, something like 6 months from now, end of August? That's plenty of time for her to save for a place.

Getting DH on board with this plan - be straight with him. Let him know these are your needs and you can not live any longer in the present circumstances. Also, you are promoting SD to being an independent woman which you know DH wants (that's what you say, maybe not the truth, but still say it).

That's because we were raised

That's because we were raised right. You were raised to be independent. A lot of adult skids that live at home that we read about here is because it works out well for them. No rent, no responsibilities, they have it made.

I totally understand and if

I totally understand and if you feel powerless to change the situation the only soLuton I see is for you to move. Find yourself a nice little rental apartment. Surely that would be heaven compared to what you are putting up with!!

Came home from the gym and

Came home from the gym and its raining its ass off and so, guess what, she has parked in my spot again! I told my husband that she has 60 days to get out and if not he's paying for a place for me! I'm done, been dealing with this shit for to long! BTW I have never told him that. He has been home for a month so I'm hoping that he see's what I'm talking about