So I finally decided to disengage from SD27. I think she has some kind of spidey sense because today a box arrived in the mail with silly little treats for me DH and BD. It was weird and nice. She has no idea I am disengaging since she lives so far away and we don't talk to her alot.

So here is my question/ issue. When she visits everything is ok for a day or two. Then she turns into a raging bitch. She comments on everything, corrects what I say and do constantly, says I'm fat loud enough for me to hear, rearranges my kitchen, plays daddees little mini wife and bad mouths me to my BD. DH thinks she is "an ass wipe" no lie he said that to me after her last visit and I almost died.

I want to set boundaries without starting a war. We had custody of her from age 7 ish. I have trouble letting the crap she did to me go but also worry I am making a mistake cutting her out. I am confused. She has done and said some shitty things to me. Her package seemed sincere but who knows what she is thinking. She had a horrible BM and not an excuse but I am surprised she isn't more F'd up than she is. Also BM is really sick and her brother has been reaching out to me. I wonder if they are scared to lose her and looking to me for comfort like when they were little. Blah....