Honestly Doddlin your post do confuse the hell out of me. First what started out as a post I made not necessarily trashing the mistress/wife/SM but was more about her over stepping the lines so to speak and doing so after many years of nothing nadda issues with me or my kids. Even though I must say, if most people walked in my shoes during the time of their affair, they would feel they had every right to tell this woman off. Hence why I turned to this board and not to my friends or family who know every detail and would have probably given bad advise out of their own anger. Turning to this board is exactly what I needed to do.

First you responded to my post that wasn't an ugly post trash mouthing ex's wife per-say. But something about what I posted triggered you so much that you had to reply and dish out your dirty secrets. Secrets that I am sure that you have divulged to others in 15 years. And secrets that I am sure isn't the first time you heard a back lash about. I don't get why you were so surprised at the negative responses.

Second you say that affairs happen because marriages are unhappy or people do things. Well I agree with what some of the other posters have said. Not all affairs happen due to unhappy marriages. I can still vividly remember the day I caught my ex with his now wife. It was a beautiful Sunday morning. We, my family and I all sat down and had breakfast, talked laughed and made plans to cook out that evening. I started getting ready to go to the store to buy the things needed for cook out while ex was going to see his grandfather in the hospital. As he was leaving he gave me a very passionate kiss telling me how much he loved me. The weird thing that happened was when he gave me this kiss I all of a sudden got a vision of him at this in a local bookstore sitting at the coffee shop with another woman. All that day I couldn't shake this vision, so to rest my mind I went up to this bookstore. Low and behold there it was my vision right in front of my face! Sure I knew that I had caught them before a sexual encounter had occurred, but to me emotional affairs can hit even deeper. I did not attack him or her. I just left the store. When he got home he found his bags on the doorstep. For 2 years I tried to get a divorce from him but he would not sign the papers. Always begging me to take him back. About a year into the separation I finally conceded and started to try and reconcile with him. One night we had a very romantic evening and I was starting to think things might work out. Until the next day I went to the store and found him with this same woman hugging and kissing. Actually my son was the one who spotted them (mom why is dad kissing that woman). At that point my turkey timer popped! I was done! Left the store without saying one word to him, they never even knew we saw them. Once I showed him indifference, well that's when he completely WIGGED OUT! Begging, pleading, balling his eyes out for me to take him back. I did not give in. Two weeks later, even though we were still married, he was engaged to this woman. To this day his current wife has not one damn clue that all that took place (naive to say the least). As far as she was aware, she got wrapped up into an emotional affair where as you know that he trashed me to her. Their affair turned sexual, but in her eyes it was ok because our marriage was unhappy and we had been separated. WRONG! She was a homewrecker and so was he seeing that she too was married with children. My point is, you don't know exactly what happened between your DH and his ex. And you say that she was horrible to him and cheated. That's between them and what your ex allowed. Plus, you question why the BM causes you grief, well you should have been aware of her character then when you married DH and fully expected her wrath.

Third, you have said that you have tried to apologize to all parties involved. Well hun, if you came at the "parties" like you have posted on this thread, there is no wonder why you haven't had a positive outcome. You are too wishy washy. You say your sorry, but then you try to justify. I know if I had received any kind of communication from you like this no matter how nicely and sincere you are trying to be, you would have probably gotten a "FU" back from me. If you really want to make amends, say your sorry, mean it and don't make any excuses.

Last, and this honestly did anger me in a way. In your last few post you indicated "DH is being VERY supportive to me and is not allowing her to speak about me and has defended me to her". Oh you just don't know how many members on this board probably felt like jumping through the screen and just shaking the hell out of you! Can I get a OOH RAHH from anyone out there that only wishes they had this kind of support from their DH with regards to SK's!