Asking for advice from some veterans about what I'm sure has been addressed here many many times! I am in a live-in relationship with a great guy; his kids are 20 (son) and 19 (daughter), mine are 19 and 22 (both sons). All four of our kids have engaged in their share of teenage shenanigans, but three have grown out of that phase and are now out working and supporting themselves, and generally being responsible citizens. Number four - you guessed it, the SD - has not worked since she was sixteen, dropped out of school halfway through her senior year, has hooked up with a 25-year-old that just recently got out of prison (and also doesn't seem interested in working), and just informed her dad that she is pregnant. She wheedles Dad incessantly for $10 or $20 "gas money" here and there (the only time she ever has anything to do with him) and has managed to get him to pay for her cell phone (my fault - in an attempt to teach her some responsibility, I suggested to Dad she mow our lawn in exchange for phone...). This has come to a head with us a couple of times, and each time he lambasts the bum she is with for not supporting her but gives her a free pass. Now that she is pregnant, she is a delicate flower that can't be expected to take responsibility, and I fear it will only get worse, although I have made it clear that NONE of the adult children will move into our house.

I come from a family with a strong work ethic - I have had a job since I was sixteen, and my two boys have worked since they were old enough to find jobs; they are both working full-time and paying for college themselves. His son had a baby a few months ago, but has stepped up and is taking care of business. We have been very hands-off with one another's kids, though we have had cordial relationships all around, but I can't abide by my sweetie's enabling behavior. It's as if he can't see his double standard, and I fear this could be the undoing of our relationship.

Any suggestions???