I just found this forum today and I'm glad I did. I was begining to feel like I was the only one dealing with this crap, and not that I wish it upon anyone else, but it's reassuring to see I'm not alone. A little background (sorry in advance, it'll probably be long...): I've been with my dh for 15 years and we've been married for 9. His daughter is now 18, but I met her when she was 4. She moved in with us when she was 7. Her bm's presence in her life was very inconsistent and this no doubt caused a lot of psychological trauma for sd. Loooking back, it has always been a roller coaster with her, but it has gotten worse as she's gotten older. Dh has always taken sd's side, I think in part due to his own guilt and also because he's a psychologist and everything revolves around her "issues". Like her issues are an excuse for her behavior. There is no doubt in my mind that she would be diagnosed as Borderline Personality Disorder, dh even says it. Sd is a chronic liar, user, and manipulator. From the time she was little she lied about me to her grandparents, saying how I was such a slave driver and treated her like Cinderella. In reality Princess never lifted a damn finger because daddy didn't think kids should have to do work around the house. Grandparents bought right into it. Everyone always did everything for her because they felt so bad that she was the product of a divorce. In turn a monster was created. I used to say things to dh about it when sd was younger, but he said I didn't understand because I didn't have kids of my own. He would always get very defensive when I brought up negative things about sd. The lies and manipulation were a constant and always geared at whoever she neede to get what she wanted. When she was about 13-14 she stole from me. I found some of my things in her drawer (an old laptop, my underwear (yes, really), perfumes, make-up, etc. and she gave my ipod away to a friend.) She used to sneak out in the middle of the night. She got in trouble in school for stealing her "best friend's" cell phone. Her and her friends would ciphon gas from our cars to give their friends. When she was 15 she ran away. She was found and brought back and she lived with her grandparents (who she has always been able to manipulate and get on her side especially well). After about a year she got tired of their rules (which weren't many) and ran away again and dropped out of high school. She eventually came back, played her manipulation games and came back to live with us. Dh and I by this time had 2 kids together. She seemed to be getting her act together. Got her GED, got a job, enrolled in community college. Dh got her a brand new car which she agreed to make the payments on and we paid her insurance and phone bill. (I didn't agree with any of this, but went along with it all to keep the peace). She had a perfectly good used car that was paid for, but dh took her to the dealership and got her a brand spanking new car because that's what Princess wanted. She had the car for 2 months. She was starting to fall back into old patterns and got caught up in some lies. One day while we were gone, she took her things, left a letter, and moved into her bm's house. (This took place about a month and a half ago). So here we were with this extra car payment. (Dh finally admitted buying that car was one of the dumbest things he's ever done.) She managed to get grandparents on her side again and told them how dh and I were too strict on her. Of course they bought it and she convinced them that she needed her car because she had to walk far to work, blah, blah, blah. So they were on dh's case about it and he caved to get them off his back and they took the car to her. While WE still made the payments!!!! (Dh told his dad the car was a gift to him, since his parents loaned us money in the past, and that he could do whatever he wanted with the car. Dumb!!!) Sd loaned the car to a "friend" and it was stolen. Police involved and car was recovered. Sd's bm discovered sd was pregnant and kicked her out. Sd is now back at grandparents house. Dh says he will help her from a distance, but I fear that once sd gets tired of grandparents rules again she will try come back here again. I do not want her influence around my kids (ages 6 and 8). I want to disengage from sd. I was duped one last time by her and will not let her do it to me again. I want nothing to do with her. She is a very sick girl who needs help, and until she gets it nothing will ever change. I haven't discussed feeling like this with dh yet, I'm sure his reaction won't be that great (he always stands by that she's his daughter no matter what). I'm just so sick of the drama. It feels like I'm living in the middle of a soap opera and it's terrible for my kids to be seeing. I don't want them to think that her behavior is an acceptable way of acting. They adore her and it makes me nervous. It's ridiculous. Dh has a lot of great qualities, but I just very strongly disagree with how he deals with sd. I'm tired of feeling like I'm always on the back burner to sd and dh's parents. I'm not sure if I'm asking for advice, or just needing to vent it all out. I really have no one to discuss all of the hairy details with, so I was thankful to come across this forum. Thanks for listening (and sorry this ended up being a novel...).